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What Will They Think of Me?
For so long, I wanted everyone to think I had it together. I wanted people to think I was perfect, therefore, I presented myself each day as if life was flawless. It was this longing to be loved, to be liked and accepted and it was exhausting. Inside, I was so desperate, I was miserable and continued to seek satisfaction in so many other ways because I was too scared to bare my soul and admit I was struggling.
What Can God Add to My Life?
Everyone must start somewhere and as beginnings go, mine was pretty great. I had parents who loved and advocated for me. I had grandparents who teased that I could find a home with them if I ever wanted to run away from my parents. My birthday was celebrated every year with unique cakes that my mom made from scratch, and I have scrapbooks filled with pictures to capture special occasions and milestones from my childhood.
If there was a flaw in my well-nurtured background, it happened with the very best of intentions. Passed down to me was the belief that I could do and be anything, assuming I worked hard enough. Something got lost in the translation from what was said to what I heard, and I adopted the belief that average wasn’t acceptable.
This conviction was reinforced when I expressed interest in becoming a nurse. In an upbeat tone filled with confidence came the response, “Don’t be a nurse. Be a doctor.”
As mistakes go, erring on the side of believing in your kids and encouraging them to reach their full potential isn’t a disastrous mistake, but it cultivated in me a skewed sense of what was important in life. Most important was worldly achievement, not personal fulfillment or spiritual enrichment or emotional contentment.
Can I Stop Being a People-Pleaser?
I could spin around in circles trying to please the crowd but would still be left with feelings of emptiness inside. I cannot please everyone, and even if I could, the validation that might follow would be short-lived and fleeting. I will never be enough for this world, and this world will never be enough for me. My only hope is Jesus.
Perfect Peace
Someone(s) is perfect. There, I said it. Behind the door marked “do not enter,” in that wing of my brain where guests aren’t invited, locked inside a secret safe with my files of fears, diary of shame and private collection of insecurities was the belief that perfection might be possible.
From Fear to Faith
I’m Alyssa and I’m an alcoholic. On July 16, 2015, I took my last drink. I didn’t know if it would be my last drink. I’d tried to have a last drink many times before, only days later to chase it with another first drink. But, I WANTED it to be…
From Shame to Grace
Hi there, friend! I’m Mackenzie. I couldn’t be more excited for you to come alongside me on this journey. My hope is that we will grow in our faith together as we learn to walk more intimately with Jesus. I used to have this idea of what Christianity looked like. I guess I thought that we were supposed to arrive at our intended destinations while here on earth. I assumed that all true Christians had this faith thing completely figured out. And for a long time, I thought, I’m not like those people. I just don’t get it the way they do. I secretly hoped that one day I would arrive where they were. But today, I’m here to tell you that I’ve been trekking this Christian path out for a while now, and so far, the only place I have “arrived” is at the feet of Jesus.
From Resistance to Surrender
Hi, I’m Susan, and I struggle with trust and will issues. This is funny, because if you met me, you would find me to be very trusting and far more likely to empathize with you than to impose my solutions for your problems. My trust and resolve battle lies with God, not between you and me.
From Temptation to Redemption
Hi! I’m Dawn and boy has it been a wild ride for me. Ready to hop on the ride with me? I promise, it is safe now.
All my life, I simply wanted that fairytale dream. You know, the one where you find the perfect mate, you live in the flawlessly decorated farmhouse, and you have two beautiful babes that make your Instagram feed the envy of all. The one where love is always perfect, you are completely fulfilled, and raising your kiddos is all things playdough, playdates, and chocolate-sprinkled doughnuts. It took near destruction of my entire life for me to realize that was not real life and in fact is just in Hollywood blockbusters.
From Unfulfillment to Fulfillment
Fulfillment speaks to a primal need because many long for enduring happiness or satisfaction. Unfortunately, this definition lacks the context to produce the intended meaning and explains why so many have fallen victim to its quest. I’m convinced the devil’s greatest deceptions begin with a 10% lie.
What’s wrong with a little gossip?
What if I’m Not Enough?
“No one would like the real you,” whispered Insecurity in my head. You don’t fit in. You’re socially awkward. You aren’t as pretty, or as smart, or as sophisticated as them. Does that thought ever run through your head too? I was in eighth grade the day that insecurity slipped into my life and started to follow me around like an unwanted friend.
Is God Stingy?
Have you Ever Hit Rock Bottom?
How Can I Help When I Feel So Helpless?
I tend to overcomplicate things when I feel under pressure. One stormy night last summer, I frantically searched the house for flashlights while the lights flickered, and the wind whistled outside the windows. I was irritated that my three teenagers weren’t engaged in my panicked preparations for an impending power outage. My 16-year-old son sat up on the couch grinning while waving his cell phone and said, “you know, we could just use the flashlights we’re all holding right here in our hands...”
How Do We Live a Life of Significance?
Saying yes led to us dedicating a water well in Africa in June 2016. The world might call it a deed of significance. God called it obedience. God called it loved. God showed me loving Him will look like loving others.
What’s stopping you from living a Life of Significance?
At fourteen, I did not know how to hold my thoughts and feelings up to the Word of God. I did not know how to take every thought captive. Because of that, I was easy prey for the devil. He deceived me. I believed my feelings. I believed my thoughts. I believed my friends Dread and Fear when they told me I would be all alone in Africa, with no family or friends, living in a mud hut, with no food, starving children, mosquitos, HIV, and malaria. Dread and Fear told me God was not good, and he was holding out on me. I believed they were right. There was nothing good to be found by following Jesus to Africa.
Why Is It Wrong, When It Feels So Good?
I jumped as his knuckles hit the table and split open. Blood began to pour out and drip from his hand as tears began to fall from his eyes. I sat there, frozen. Stunned at the words that had just come out of my own mouth: “I’m having an affair.” I was thinking: “this can’t be my life. I didn’t really do this did I?” Yes, yes I did. After the initial confession, it took me an entire day to be completely, totally 100% honest & transparent with Jeremy about everything. Once that happened……..I didn’t leave out a detail. Three nights laying awake talking about everything. Answering every question Jeremy had. I owned every bit of what I did. I made the choices. No one forced me, no one pressured me, no one manipulated me. I did it. I made the choice. As I spoke these words, he wept. He wept at the realization that I had chosen to betray him. His knuckles bled, his eyes wept, his heart broke. All because of a choice I made.
How Do I Get Out Of This Pit of Despair, When It Is All My Fault?
As I found myself in one of the hardest moments of my life, I sat at my kitchen table day in and day out just crying. I had turned away from the Lord turned toward ugly temptations and landed in despair. I would get my boys off to school, my husband off to work and I would go sit, reading scripture, journaling my heart’s cries, and just weep. Gazing out our big kitchen window from time to time all I could muster up the strength to say was “Oh Jesus.” That’s it. That’s all. I didn’t have any other words. Yet, I can tell you this: In those moments of reading scripture for hours and journaling and just crying out to Him; He brought me peace. At times I would hear a still small voice saying “I love you my child.” “You will get through this my child.” “Rest in me my child.” Every day, every-single-day, I took a step towards healing. I took a step towards hope. I surrendered my heart, my everything to the Lord. So first, can I tell you that no matter what it is that has broken you whether it be a bad decision you made, a loss of someone close to you or whatever, let Christ be your rescuer. I had hit rock bottom. The bottom of all bottoms. I fell on my face and asked the only One who could get me out to rescue me. He has.
Can I Love Like Jesus?
Today it seems we live in a world that is convinced we must take drastic measures about our views and beliefs. We are pressured into thinking that agreeing with one political party, means hating the other. We're told that we must view things in black or white. We're either left or we're right. If we're not a feminist, we must be a sexist. If we're not vaccinated, we’re murderers. The list goes on and on. One thing I think we can all agree on is that our world is completely divided and becoming more filled with hate by the moment. In the midst, I'm trying desperately to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. I wonder what he thinks as he looks down on all of us modern-day extremists who seem to believe we have all the answers, especially since he is the only one who knows if we have been consulting him for these answers that we claim to have.
Can I Find Purpose Through My Pain?
From the time I was a young girl, I was a hopeless romantic. I could spin it to you by saying I was just plain boy-crazy, or by telling you that I possibly watched one too many Disney fairy tales along the way - but the truth of the matter is that I desperately wanted to be loved. As human beings, but women especially, we are designed to want to give and receive unconditional love. We want to be known intimately by someone who will cherish and value us for our wonderful qualities, and someone who will continue loving us right through our bad ones. As I got older, this aching desire I had to feel loved ended up making of fool of me more times than I care to recall. I made some incredibly unfortunate decisions that I'm not proud of today in an attempt to feel love. After a while, I found those attempts at "love" to be incredibly fleeting and in the long-run I was left feeling quite the opposite of what I had hoped for.
Then I had kids . . .