How Do I Get Out Of This Pit of Despair, When It Is All My Fault?
I have swept away your transgressions like a cloud, and your sins like a mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.
Isaiah 44:22
As I found myself in one of the hardest moments of my life, I sat at my kitchen table day in and day out just crying. I had turned away from the Lord turned toward ugly temptations and landed in despair. I would get my boys off to school, my husband off to work and I would go sit, reading scripture, journaling my heart’s cries, and just weep. Gazing out our big kitchen window from time to time all I could muster up the strength to say was “Oh Jesus.” That’s it. That’s all. I didn’t have any other words. Yet, I can tell you this: In those moments of reading scripture for hours and journaling and just crying out to Him; He brought me peace. At times I would hear a still small voice saying “I love you my child.” “You will get through this my child.” “Rest in me my child.” Every day, every-single-day, I took a step towards healing. I took a step towards hope. I surrendered my heart, my everything to the Lord. So first, can I tell you that no matter what it is that has broken you whether it be a bad decision you made, a loss of someone close to you or whatever, let Christ be your rescuer. I had hit rock bottom. The bottom of all bottoms. I fell on my face and asked the only One who could get me out to rescue me. He has.
It is in these moments that we have to realize we are broken. It is in these moments that we have to identify what is Truth and what lies we are telling ourselves. It is in these moments that we have to realize we are nothing without our Redeemer. He is our rescuer and He is our refuge. Psalm 46:1 reminds us that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” He is right there waiting for you dear one. When we understand the depth of our sin, it helps us realize just how holy our God is because He takes our ugliest of uglies, washes them clean and refines us to be like Him. How can we not be in awe of a God who can do that? He stands waiting to breathe life and purpose into our brokenness. Let me assure you right now that no matter what has brought you to this point, what bad choices you have made, what terrible situation you stand in today, He is there. Do you find yourself unsettled today? Anxious? Heartbroken? Oh precious one, let me share with you: our incredible God wants to heal you. He wants to take those broken pieces of your shattered heart, mend them whole and use you for His glory.
But how? How do I get there? Seek Him through prayer. Praying doesn't just mean when we sit down to eat or when we face crisis. It means, always. Prayer is an attitude, it’s a mindset. Even when you have no words, pray. Remember, all I could say for a time was “Oh Jesus.” He hears our heart. He knows our cries. Seek Him through His Word. Let scripture permeate your mind more than anything. Oh how hard that is in this world of social media and everything in your face. Yet, we must. When we allow things of this world to fill our mind instead of His Word is when we get off balance and fall. But, when we follow these simple steps our unrest in ourselves becomes rest in Him.
Sweet Friend today let me tell you that I am a living walking testimony of how He takes the ugliest of uglies and redeems them. Let me remind you that no matter where you are today, there is no valley too deep that He can’t bring you up from. I can promise you that.
I can promise you that He loves you today. Dear one – You are chosen. You are treasured. You are loved. Rest in those words today.
Practice Because We Are Imperfect:
Listen to: See a Victory by Elevation Worship
You Keep Hope Alive by Church of the City
Read Psalm 46 and let it wash over you and seep into your soul.
