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Are You Resigned to God’s Will When You Pray?
Recently, I spent the day helping a young friend whom I mentor re-decorate a room in her house. One of the last tasks we had for the day was to hang something on the wall. She brought out a picture she had painted herself. It was perfect for the spot, but it had a minor imperfection that would almost certainly go unnoticed by anyone else. She balked at using it because she said she spends a lot of time in that room and the imperfect picture would bother her every time she was in the room.
After hanging it as a placeholder, she firmly declared that she would replace it later.
How do you react to continual annoyances? You may not be hanging barely flawed pictures on a wall, but you are probably familiar with minor imperfections in an otherwise satisfactory experience or environment.
Soggy Footballs and Hardened Hearts
While my husband made his way over to the shallow end of the pool to check on me, he couldn't help but laugh the entire way, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the arrogant claim I had made just seconds prior. It was almost too perfect for my husband.
Christian, while I hope you got a chuckle out of my story, I also found a lesson for all of us buried within.
Will She Ever Talk To Me Again?
I was standing in the same place that I do every Sunday morning at church as I welcome people, answer questions, and help wherever necessary. I glanced over my shoulder and there she was; an old friend that I had not spoken to in over eight years. As I watched her get closer and closer, everything about our last interaction came rushing back to my mind. This was someone who had been struck by the shrapnel of my reckless words, and bad decisions. All those years ago, hateful talk had been exchanged and promises were declared that we would never speak again.
Would a real Christian do that?
Is it possible to know deep in your heart that salvation belongs to you yet still fear it could slip through your fingers at any moment?
Why Can’t Things Go Back To The Way They Were?
For a few years after my affair was exposed, I spent many a day just begging the Lord to make everything go back to normal. I was yearning so badly for normal. I longed for people to trust me again, for friends to want to be around me again and I ached for people to look at me like they used to, treat me like they used to. There was desperation for everyone to know that I was changed, that I was transformed, that I was different. It was there that I found myself falling into another trap of the enemy consumed with what people thought about me more than I was consumed with what Jesus was doing in me. I was trying my best to do everything right, clinging to friendships as if I was terrified to lose them because I’d already lost so many. I was working hard going into overdrive trying to prove myself to be good and it was exhausting.
What Will They Think of Me?
For so long, I wanted everyone to think I had it together. I wanted people to think I was perfect, therefore, I presented myself each day as if life was flawless. It was this longing to be loved, to be liked and accepted and it was exhausting. Inside, I was so desperate, I was miserable and continued to seek satisfaction in so many other ways because I was too scared to bare my soul and admit I was struggling.
Is Jesus' Love Enough for Me?
From the time I was a young girl, I was a hopeless romantic. I could spin it to you by saying I was just plain boy-crazy, or by telling you that I possibly watched one too many Disney fairy tales along the way - but the truth of the matter is that I desperately wanted to be loved. As human beings, but women especially, we are designed to want to give and receive unconditional love. We want to be known intimately by someone who will cherish and value us for our wonderful qualities, and someone who will continue loving us right through our bad ones. As I got older, this aching desire I had to feel loved ended up making of fool of me more times than I care to recall. I made some incredibly unfortunate decisions that I'm not proud of today in an attempt to feel love. After a while, I found those attempts at "love" to be incredibly fleeting and in the long-run I was left feeling quite the opposite of what I had hoped for.