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Why Does Surrender Feel So Scary?
It was 4 am as I stood trembling in front of the bathroom mirror and whispered “my life is not going to be the same!”. I had just taken a pregnancy test and to my dismay it was showing positive. A flood of worries came crashing into my head as I felt an overwhelm of emotions. How will this affect each of us in the family? Is my body ready for this journey? How will my teenage sons react to the news? How did this even happen?! I spent the next three hours with a million thoughts a minute racing through my mind.
What do you do when situations you thought were very much under your control and caution get overridden?
Is God Calling You to Sit or Serve?
Many years ago, when my children were very small, our family hosted Thanksgiving dinner. I spent weeks preparing, crafting the menu, shopping for needs, cleaning our home, and setting the China. The morning of Thanksgiving, we carefully balanced entertaining our children with keeping our house clean and perfectly timing the turkey for our guests. We graciously hosted an elderly couple far from family or friends who would have otherwise spent Thanksgiving alone. As I served the gentleman a generous slice of apple pie with ice cream, he turned and asked. “Is this homemade?”
Just like the Thanksgiving turkey is stuffed with dressing, the holidays are filled with expectations.
Are You Resigned to God’s Will When You Pray?
Recently, I spent the day helping a young friend whom I mentor re-decorate a room in her house. One of the last tasks we had for the day was to hang something on the wall. She brought out a picture she had painted herself. It was perfect for the spot, but it had a minor imperfection that would almost certainly go unnoticed by anyone else. She balked at using it because she said she spends a lot of time in that room and the imperfect picture would bother her every time she was in the room.
After hanging it as a placeholder, she firmly declared that she would replace it later.
How do you react to continual annoyances? You may not be hanging barely flawed pictures on a wall, but you are probably familiar with minor imperfections in an otherwise satisfactory experience or environment.
From Brokenness to Depth By Jodi Rosser
Two of my favorite things were combined to make this magnificent masterpiece that hangs by my front door.
Beautifully broken glass pieced together like a mosaic on top of a gorgeous rod iron tree with deep roots.
This artwork mirrors my story.
Brokenness. I could relate to that. The shattered dreams and smashed hopes of my own life resembled those broken pieces.
Can You Release the Jar?
The other day, a jar of enchilada sauce defeated me. I gripped the lid tightly, twisted the bottom in the opposite direction from the top, and tried to access the sauce inside the jar. The lid stubbornly refused to budge. I re-gripped and tried again, but the lid remained in place. A third attempt also proved useless. Various family members passed through the kitchen, and I solicited their help to release the grip of this tenacious lid. Finally, my husband appeared and saved the day. The lid opened with a pop and the jar surrendered its contents to the enchiladas lined up in my pan.
The jar’s top functioned as it was designed. It kept the sauce contained and protected until the contents were needed. If anything, the protective lid struggled to release the sauce when it was time.
I know how the top of that jar felt. I have prayer requests that I have gripped as tightly as the lid gripped that jar because I’m sure they are the right solutions to my problems. You might do the same.
Why Do I Always Feel Passed Over?
When you think of the phrase “pass over,” it may bring some negative feelings to your mind and heart. Maybe it is just a memory of when you were a child and passed over on the playground, the last pick for the kickball team. Or, maybe you have recently been passed over for a promotion at your job or you might just feel like you have been passed over your entire life from rejection after rejection. I know at times in my life, I have simply sat feeling unseen and unloved. I was reading in Exodus the other day when this contrast struck me. What, in our day mostly bares a negative sentiment, holds a beautiful story in the pages of scripture.
Where Else Would We Go?By Aubrey Carrales
Isn’t that life? No matter how hard we work and pray and trust and follow, sometimes things still go haywire. We don’t get the results we want, and we are left feeling confused and defeated. In these moments we have a choice to make- do we give into our emotions, or do we choose to believe in something bigger?
How Can I Keep My New Year’s Resolutions?
Today is the middle of January, which means many New Year’s resolutions, words, and themes have been proclaimed. Several studies show that by the end of January, almost half of the goals that were determinedly declared on January 1st have been discarded just four short weeks later.
What were you hoping to change, improve, accomplish, or become in 2023? Are you still resolute or are you feeling the temptation to throw in the towel and maybe try again another time? Or have you already sadly accepted defeat?
Where is Your Promise, God?
I’m the queen of both romanticism and nostalgia. This means that my vision of an upcoming change in life doesn’t always match reality. If we decide to move across the country for my husband’s job, I tend to romanticize the change with cautious optimism while greatly minimizing its challenges. Or, if time ushers in a new life stage, such as the beginning of middle age, I go to the other extreme and embrace nostalgia while despairing that the future will never be as enjoyable and meaningful as the past. In either case, my tendency to imagine the future creates expectations that slam into reality and produce disappointment and discontentment once one chapter closes and another one opens. Can you relate to either of these? Whether we are optimistically romantic, or hopelessly nostalgic, our presumptive nature is a tactic to help us manage our expectations and quiet our fears.
If I Do It, What’s It Going To Hurt?
This one is for the girl that is one step away from making the decision to catapult her into the depths of sin that will forever change her life. To the one who is standing on the brink of that choice, that escape that seems so right, so intriguing, and satisfying; it will make you feel better if you do it, and you might even feel on top of the world.
For a moment.
Have You Forgotten My Request, God?
The other day I found myself wanting an explanation from God. I know this sounds ridiculous but let me explain.
Some of my prayer requests are several years old. Healing, salvation, relationship restoration, and other long-term desires take time. I understand God knows far better than I do the perfect outcome and the best time to respond. But I also know that His flawless will may fail to match the way that makes so much sense to me. In fact, His answer might be, “no”, and I may have refused to recognize or accept that.
When the pain of unanswered prayer enters my day, I find myself asking God,” Why are you silent and still when I know You could be powerful and present?” Do you wonder the same thing sometimes?
Can you let go of white-knuckled living?
I have a confession. I love everything about being a mom…except sitting in the passenger seat when our kids are learning how to drive.
They saw independence, freedom, and an exciting future. I saw the potential for an accident with possibly life-altering consequences. While our new drivers enthusiastically tackled busier roads and more complicated intersections, I hid my nerves to avoid undermining their confidence. Quite often, I found myself clenching my hands together so tightly that my knuckles turned white, and I had to take a deep breath because I realized that unconsciously, I was barely breathing.
Of course, I prayed for safety before these nerve-wracking road sessions, but we live in a fallen world and my petitions for protection sometimes felt more like frantic pleas. What if God allowed an accident despite my prayers?
Does God Know What He’s Doing?
Have you ever experienced a moment that turned your life upside down and left you feeling disoriented and distraught? Maybe that describes your current reality and you’re wondering if the future will ever feel promising again. Whether we try harder or deny its existence or numb it or push through it, emotional pain isn’t healthy to ignore. It must be addressed, or it will start to control our actions.
Is God Stingy?
Can I Find Purpose Through My Pain?
From the time I was a young girl, I was a hopeless romantic. I could spin it to you by saying I was just plain boy-crazy, or by telling you that I possibly watched one too many Disney fairy tales along the way - but the truth of the matter is that I desperately wanted to be loved. As human beings, but women especially, we are designed to want to give and receive unconditional love. We want to be known intimately by someone who will cherish and value us for our wonderful qualities, and someone who will continue loving us right through our bad ones. As I got older, this aching desire I had to feel loved ended up making of fool of me more times than I care to recall. I made some incredibly unfortunate decisions that I'm not proud of today in an attempt to feel love. After a while, I found those attempts at "love" to be incredibly fleeting and in the long-run I was left feeling quite the opposite of what I had hoped for.
Then I had kids . . .