Can You Release the Jar?

“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (ESV)

Matthew 7:9-11

The other day, a jar of enchilada sauce defeated me. I gripped the lid tightly, twisted the bottom in the opposite direction from the top, and tried to access the sauce inside the jar. The lid stubbornly refused to budge. I re-gripped and tried again, but the lid remained in place. A third attempt also proved useless. Various family members passed through the kitchen, and I solicited their help to release the grip of this tenacious lid. Finally, my husband appeared and saved the day. The lid opened with a pop and the jar surrendered its contents to the enchiladas lined up in my pan.

The jar’s top functioned as it was designed. It kept the sauce contained and protected until the contents were needed. If anything, the protective lid struggled to release the sauce when it was time.

I know how the top of that jar felt. I have prayer requests that I have gripped as tightly as the lid gripped that jar because I’m sure they are the right solutions to my problems. You might do the same.

I want my kids to do well on their tests at school. I want them to find friends in the Christian community. I want them to be healthy. I want God to protect them from the wrong romantic interests, and to help them discover what He created them to do in the world. These are just some of the pleas I have petitioned God to do on their behalf, and yet I have seen only a few fulfilled.

What’s a mother to do? These desires seem to fall in line with God’s heart, but it’s been years and I’m still waiting to see the fulfillment of some of my heartfelt wishes. Maybe you’ve been waiting for God to respond to your concerns too.

Like the stubborn lid on the jar, sometimes we hold our desires too tightly.

Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV) says, “Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

I always thought this verse was straightforward and easy to understand. Then I had long-term prayers that went unfulfilled and children whose struggles caused me to feel upset and frustrated with God for His lack of provision.

Thankfully, God used time and the Tony Evans Bible commentary to give me a fresh perspective. Under this verse in Tony Evan’s Bible commentary, he said,

“God doesn’t give harmful things in response to prayer.”

-Tony Evans Bible commentary

Harmful? Wow. I wanted life to go well for my children, which I thought my prayers reflected. How could my well-intentioned requests be harmful?

Time answered that for me. Like many of us, my kids learned more from their struggles than from their successes. A disappointing test score developed perseverance in their character and prepared them for setbacks in life. Their refusal to get involved with a Christian community highlighted its importance when my children wanted to process life with people of a similar mindset.

As much as I wanted to keep them from struggling, God knew (more than I did) which battles they needed to develop the character traits that would benefit them later. Had He provided what I asked, they would have been less prepared for their future, which would have been harmful to them. Only God knew what they truly needed.

I still pray for my children, but instead of stubbornly holding tightly to my requests, I’m learning to hand them over to God and trust Him to respond in the right way at the right time. And when God seems to be withholding good things from my children, I remember that difficulty and disappointment caused me to reach out and depend on Him. And that’s exactly what I want for my children.

Dear Lord, forgive me for thinking that I know what’s best. Only You know my future, so only You know how to best prepare me for the future. Help me trust you with my desires and know that you will never respond in a harmful way. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Resources to Help

To do:

1.      Think back to past prayer requests and note how God worked.

2.      Remind yourself of God’s unchanging character. He was working on your behalf before this crisis, and He is working on your behalf now.

3.      Pray that God would encourage you while you wait for Him to work.

Songs:

1.      Shoulders for King and Country

2. Battle Belongs Phil Wickham