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How Can We Find Hope When Things Look Hopeless?
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? I happily see life through a hopeful lens. My glass is almost always half full, and I even tend to see the bright side in many undesirable situations. But facing the soon-to-be empty nest challenged my bright side philosophy and threatened to override its influence.
The empty nest represents one of many life transitions. You may be looking forward to the empty nest, or it might be so far removed from your life that you can’t imagine its impact. You may be facing a different life transition that is hard such as an unexpected health diagnosis, a surprise financial crisis, the loss of a dear friend, or an undesired divorce. These are all changes from one stage of life to another. One day we wake up to our normal life and then overnight the pages of life turn and with them comes a new chapter. In the new chapter, we find ourselves struggling to believe that our future will be as bright as our past.
How can we as Christians find hope when what we see in front of us looks hopeless?
Do You Ever Feel Stuck?
Recently, I found myself in a completely incomprehensible situation. It was so beyond anything I could imagine that my natural tendency to “rise to the occasion” just shut down. I felt shell-shocked, and I had no idea what to do.
Two of my longest and closest friends were experiencing life-altering events within days of each other. One friend’s daughter was getting married. The other friend’s son had just died unexpectedly on a normal day in a tragic car accident. The funeral for my friend’s son fell on the same day as the wedding for my other friend’s daughter.
How Can I Forgive Someone Who isn’t Sorry?
A couple of years ago, I received a request to participate in a redemption story for a young woman. She had been caught in the boys’ bathroom at her high school performing a sexual act. It got recorded and another student posted it on social media where it spread very quickly. One of my friends reached out to a few of us with an opportunity to speak truth and life into this young woman. She had obviously messed up, but having her mistake preserved and shared with hundreds of her peers would profoundly impact her life for years to come. This was an opportunity for us to put our faith into action and speak love into her life.
I was all in. What a lovely suggestion! The only problem was, I had no idea what to say.
What Does God Ask of Us?
Do you ever wonder if God finds you useful in His kingdom? I’ll be honest, I haven’t thought much about being useful to God, because there are so many other things to think about. Does my behavior please Him? How can I be more holy? Am I following his word? And the tried and true, “What would Jesus do?”
Asking if I’m useful in His kingdom feels like something to consider after I address the other concerns.
Why does this even matter? Well, recently, my husband and I had back-to-back arguments.
Are You Resigned to God’s Will When You Pray?
Recently, I spent the day helping a young friend whom I mentor re-decorate a room in her house. One of the last tasks we had for the day was to hang something on the wall. She brought out a picture she had painted herself. It was perfect for the spot, but it had a minor imperfection that would almost certainly go unnoticed by anyone else. She balked at using it because she said she spends a lot of time in that room and the imperfect picture would bother her every time she was in the room.
After hanging it as a placeholder, she firmly declared that she would replace it later.
How do you react to continual annoyances? You may not be hanging barely flawed pictures on a wall, but you are probably familiar with minor imperfections in an otherwise satisfactory experience or environment.
Does God Really Know Best?
Many times, my prayers feel a lot more like pleas. They aren’t faith-filled requests respectfully submitted to God whom I trust. They were desperate desires that I begged all-powerful God to provide. Do you know what I mean? Whether it is a prayer for healing in my friend’s marriage, a job for one of my children, or faith for me to trust God in the love life of another child, I find myself behaving like a frustrated child, begging God to wield His power to my will instead of asking Him to provide and trusting Him to act wisely.
Deep down, I wasn’t trusting in God’s character to do what’s best. I wanted God to fix things. Do you feel the same way?
Can You Wrestle with God and Win?
“I’m so proud of you, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!”
This is a common phrase that I see on social media when parents want to mark the end of a significant chapter in their children’s lives. Their child’s last high school athletic game, band concert, dance, graduation, or even move-in day at college all cause parents to swell with pride and share this milestone on social media. I totally get it. I’ve shared my kids’ milestones as well. But when I read, “I can’t wait to see what comes next,” I feel like that doesn’t tell the whole story.
How Can I Hear God?
We so often think we know exactly what we need. A new job, more understanding from our spouse, a better attitude from our kids, healing, more money, deliverance from a trial. How could any of those desires differ from what God wants us to have?
Why So Long, Lord?
The other day, someone made a comment and it re-opened wounds that I thought had healed. It was completely unintentional on her end, and I was able to stay focused on the conversation with my friend. But her innocent proclamation unleashed a flood of torment in my soul. The anguish I felt came from a reminder that a long-term prayer request of mine has never been answered. It’s just dangling in the wind, waiting for God’s wisdom, and timing to dictate its resting place. Why did God answer her prayer and not mine?
Can You Release the Jar?
The other day, a jar of enchilada sauce defeated me. I gripped the lid tightly, twisted the bottom in the opposite direction from the top, and tried to access the sauce inside the jar. The lid stubbornly refused to budge. I re-gripped and tried again, but the lid remained in place. A third attempt also proved useless. Various family members passed through the kitchen, and I solicited their help to release the grip of this tenacious lid. Finally, my husband appeared and saved the day. The lid opened with a pop and the jar surrendered its contents to the enchiladas lined up in my pan.
The jar’s top functioned as it was designed. It kept the sauce contained and protected until the contents were needed. If anything, the protective lid struggled to release the sauce when it was time.
I know how the top of that jar felt. I have prayer requests that I have gripped as tightly as the lid gripped that jar because I’m sure they are the right solutions to my problems. You might do the same.
How Can I Keep My New Year’s Resolutions?
Today is the middle of January, which means many New Year’s resolutions, words, and themes have been proclaimed. Several studies show that by the end of January, almost half of the goals that were determinedly declared on January 1st have been discarded just four short weeks later.
What were you hoping to change, improve, accomplish, or become in 2023? Are you still resolute or are you feeling the temptation to throw in the towel and maybe try again another time? Or have you already sadly accepted defeat?
Why Can’t I Surrender?
I was on a conference call when it happened, but I could have easily been on the phone with one of my young adult kids, or in the kitchen when my husband came home, or having lunch with a good friend. Someone made a comment that shattered my peace and filled me with dismay and devastation. The rest of my world stopped while my thoughts started spinning. How can I solve this problem?
Where is Your Promise, God?
I’m the queen of both romanticism and nostalgia. This means that my vision of an upcoming change in life doesn’t always match reality. If we decide to move across the country for my husband’s job, I tend to romanticize the change with cautious optimism while greatly minimizing its challenges. Or, if time ushers in a new life stage, such as the beginning of middle age, I go to the other extreme and embrace nostalgia while despairing that the future will never be as enjoyable and meaningful as the past. In either case, my tendency to imagine the future creates expectations that slam into reality and produce disappointment and discontentment once one chapter closes and another one opens. Can you relate to either of these? Whether we are optimistically romantic, or hopelessly nostalgic, our presumptive nature is a tactic to help us manage our expectations and quiet our fears.
Why Am I an Emotional Wreck?
Have you ever considered trusting God with your emotions even though your circumstances are unlikely to change?
I wish I could say that stuck in crippling emotion, I sit cross-legged, with my eyes closed and my palms up, trustingly laying my feelings at the feet of Jesus. Maybe I could even add some scented candles to the scene, creating a peaceful setting that I report smells like lavender. Unfortunately, that’s a work of fiction that exists only in my mind. Instead, my narrative is filled with turmoil, restlessness, and frustration. I become pre-occupied. My mind distractedly focuses on my problem, and my brow goes into a prolonged furrowed state. Lavender is nowhere to be found.
Is It Always Going to Be Like This?
It happened on the last day of our vacation. We were sitting down for lunch when my sister called. After two and a half years on hospice, Mom had taken a turn for the worse. No one knows when someone will die, but the nurses estimated that Mom had a week or two left.
How Can I Find a Blessing in My Pain?
Are you going through something right now that feels hard and painful? Whether it’s a divorce, the rebellion of a child, an injustice that threatens your future, or a different stressful situation, life isn’t short of difficulties that disrupt our peace and threaten our contentment. On top of the ups and downs in each of our lives, society has dealt with a pandemic, supply shortages, inflation, and the war in Ukraine. It’s not surprising that many people say their mental health is challenged. Combining a personal hardship with our societal challenges is enough to steal our hope and rob us of any remaining optimism for the future. When our lives are interrupted by unpleasant circumstances, we just want it all to stop and life to return to “normal”. My normal was disrupted the other day
Have You Forgotten My Request, God?
The other day I found myself wanting an explanation from God. I know this sounds ridiculous but let me explain.
Some of my prayer requests are several years old. Healing, salvation, relationship restoration, and other long-term desires take time. I understand God knows far better than I do the perfect outcome and the best time to respond. But I also know that His flawless will may fail to match the way that makes so much sense to me. In fact, His answer might be, “no”, and I may have refused to recognize or accept that.
When the pain of unanswered prayer enters my day, I find myself asking God,” Why are you silent and still when I know You could be powerful and present?” Do you wonder the same thing sometimes?
Can you let go of white-knuckled living?
I have a confession. I love everything about being a mom…except sitting in the passenger seat when our kids are learning how to drive.
They saw independence, freedom, and an exciting future. I saw the potential for an accident with possibly life-altering consequences. While our new drivers enthusiastically tackled busier roads and more complicated intersections, I hid my nerves to avoid undermining their confidence. Quite often, I found myself clenching my hands together so tightly that my knuckles turned white, and I had to take a deep breath because I realized that unconsciously, I was barely breathing.
Of course, I prayed for safety before these nerve-wracking road sessions, but we live in a fallen world and my petitions for protection sometimes felt more like frantic pleas. What if God allowed an accident despite my prayers?
Is God Trustworthy?
The thorns get our attention because we feel their pain. Loneliness, isolation, stress, anxiety, and desperately desired but unanswered prayers poke us every minute of every day, reminding us there must be something better than this!
We must surrender our own way to fix things and remind ourselves that God’s will is better than what we think is the best way.
Does God Know What He’s Doing?
Have you ever experienced a moment that turned your life upside down and left you feeling disoriented and distraught? Maybe that describes your current reality and you’re wondering if the future will ever feel promising again. Whether we try harder or deny its existence or numb it or push through it, emotional pain isn’t healthy to ignore. It must be addressed, or it will start to control our actions.