Why Am I an Emotional Wreck?
“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?” (ESV)
Matthew 7:9
Have you ever been so overwhelmed by your emotions that it seems impossible to do anything except sit there and feel?
I recently lost my mom. Although there were plenty of signs that her life was coming to an end, I felt the sting of her death more sharply than I expected. The day after her funeral was strangely disorienting. I felt as if a braided rope holding us together had been permanently severed, and my end was frayed and flailing in the wind, bewildered about navigating life without the attachment of Mom’s side of the rope. The more I thought about life without her, the more I felt overpowered by sadness.
You might feel equally disoriented and overcome by your own circumstances and emotions. Anger, worry, fear, and other debilitating emotions steal our focus from our family, our friends, and even our faith. How are we supposed to regain our peace of mind when emotions seem to overpower our rational thoughts?
When my mom died, I was forced to do something unfamiliar. I surrendered my grief fully to Jesus instead of soldiering through on my own strength. I sat in a puddle of pain and told God I was lost.
Have you ever considered trusting God with your emotions even though your circumstances are unlikely to change?
I wish I could say that stuck in crippling emotion, I sit cross-legged, with my eyes closed and my palms up, trustingly laying my feelings at the feet of Jesus. Maybe I could even add some scented candles to the scene, creating a peaceful setting that I report smells like lavender. Unfortunately, that’s a work of fiction that exists only in my mind. Instead, my narrative is filled with turmoil, restlessness, and frustration. I become pre-occupied. My mind distractedly focuses on my problem, and my brow goes into a prolonged furrowed state. Lavender is nowhere to be found.
After a lot of sifting and sorting in my head, my thoughts usually converge on these two truths:
1. Given my situation, it’s appropriate for me to feel what I’m feeling.
2. What caused this emotion is in the past and can’t be undone; therefore, I just need some time.
These truths birth a lie that says, “God can’t do anything to help me.” And with that thought I fall right into the enemy’s trap, and maybe you do, too.
The enemy has a simple strategy. He wants to minimize who Jesus is, and he does this by feeding us half-truths.
Our feelings are valid, but God has a good purpose for them. And, yes, that painful incident that prompted those feelings may be in our past, but God holds the future and a future with God is full of hope.
There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?” Matthew 7:9 (ESV)
This verse implies that we only need to ask for the sustenance that we need, and God will provide, and His response will be abundant and perfect not useless or halfhearted.
It seems so obvious, but do we really believe it?
It’s easier to believe that God will give us a stone in response to our prayers because our vulnerable emotional state makes it difficult to trust Him. What if He doesn’t come through?
That’s how I felt when I was overcome with sadness after my mom died. The only option I saw was for God to replace sadness with happiness, and that didn’t appeal to me.
Despite my skepticism, God used the fervor of my emotion to draw me to Him. The pain of my brokenness broke through my stubbornness, and I cried out to God for help. And God’s response was so much better than I ever imagined. He didn’t remove the sadness because He knew I needed to process through it. Instead, His Spirit attended mine with tenderness, understanding and compassion. His loving presence had the effect of an embrace that a parent would use to comfort a small child. It was just the help I needed to see through my tears and into a future without mom, but one that held some possibility.
When we trust God with our pain, we discover His promise.
Whether God removes, re-assures, replaces, or relieves the emotion that cripples you, God’s response to your cry will be life-giving, not useless or ineffective.
What emotional pain could you surrender to God so you can receive His promise? Could you surrender your anger, and find his peace? Lay down your fear, and be filled with faith? Give up worry and find His contentment? Or maybe like me, surrender sadness, and find hope. In our surrender, God never gives us a stone, but always the sustenance we need to survive, and eventually, thrive.
Dear Jesus, I’m filled with _____________. What’s happened is really hard, and I don’t see a good solution. I’m clinging to your word, that you will give me the sustenance I need to go forward. Help me trust you. Work in my life to bring joy from emotional turmoil. You are victorious. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Resources to Help:
1. Sometimes, it’s just too hard to fully surrender our emotional turmoil. Ask God to help you trust Him if you’re feeling resistant.
2. You may need to ask God to help you want to trust Him with your painful emotions. Every now and then we need to take baby steps, but even our little steps will help move us forward into freedom.
3. Pray for a change of heart. God will come when you are fully surrendered. You may need His help to reach that point.
Songs to Help:
1. “Lord from Sorrows Deep I Call’ by Matt Boswell and Matt Papa
2. “I Will Wait for You (Psalm 130)” by Keith and Kristyn Getty
3. “Don’t Lose Heart” by Steven Curtis Chapman