If I Do It, What’s It Going To Hurt?
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
This one is for the girl that is one step away from making the decision to catapult her into the depths of sin that will forever change her life. To the one who is standing on the brink of that choice, that escape that seems so right, so intriguing, and satisfying; it will make you feel better if you do it, and you might even feel on top of the world.
For a moment.
Let me tell you what else it will do.
It will wreck relationships.
It will break trust.
It will cause pain.
It will leave shrapnel in its wake.
It will eventually leave you empty.
I was in that desperate space, yearning for fulfillment, silently suffering in my sorrow and hopelessness. While I knew the truth of God’s Word, I had not truly experienced Jesus and the fulfillment and joy that He gives. Therefore, I thought that my choice of deep diving into false gratitude would satisfy the longings of my heart and for a few moments, it actually did.
For just a few moments, I felt like I was happier than I had ever been and I was convinced this was what I had been missing. I spent no time thinking about the horrendous pain it would eventually cause myself and everyone around me. As long as I was happy and not feeling my own pain anymore, everything was fine. Isn’t that exactly how culture today wants us to think? It is the mindset of “you do you” and that is all that matters. Truth bomb: when “you do you,” the path of emptiness and destruction will still find its way back to you.
The temporary satisfaction of sin is no comparison to the eternal contentment in Christ.
When the slumber of sin wakes up, the aftermath is a storm that blows heartache and heartbreak throughout your soul and the souls of those pierced by your shrapnel.
For me, the aftermath of an affair looked like:
Staring into the eyes of those I loved dearly and seeing the most gut-wrenching pain I’ve ever seen, knowing I caused it.
Wrestling out the feelings I had developed for another human being that I never should have, while simultaneously fighting for the love in my marriage that God had graciously given me. It took an excruciatingly long time and oftentimes looked like me being on my face pleading with the Lord, sobbing and begging Him to take it all away.
An empty calendar because the plague of my sin caused so many to run fast and far away for fear they’d be struck with the disease of hurt and pain from me over and over again. All trust was lost and my character was in shambles.
You might be wondering why I share all of this. Haven’t I shared enough?
I share it because day after day, the women I encounter are struggling, turning away from their families, looking for more in all the wrong places, and doing whatever it takes to look good and feel good. I believe it is imperative to understand the realness of the mess sin causes because I think too often it is glossed over or swept under the rug.
Do you know what else is real? The goodness and grace of Jesus. That is the only reason I stand today with hope. It is the only reason I am still married to a precious man that fully trusts me and loves me with his whole heart, why I am in ministry serving the Lord in a full-time capacity and why I am writing this to you.
Maybe today you find yourself having already made the leap into the depths of darkness and sitting in the pit, hear me when I say, it isn’t the end. Redemption is here.
Redemption and restoration is no easy process, but it is one filled with victory when you pursue it. This process begins with true repentance. True repentance is not only confessing sin with your mouth but also with your heart. We can all say “God forgive me for what I’ve done,” but until you have confessed it in your heart and become completely broken over the depravity and awfulness of your sin, you will not move forward. I had to come to a point where I saw Jesus hanging on the cross for my sin and it finally wrecked me. I wanted nothing of it and fell to my knees.
Above it all, the remedy for not finding yourself in this space of desiring empty fulfillment is filling your heart and mind with God’s Word and living out a relationship with Him. Through the process of restoration, my heart was gutted. There was so much yuck and filth in there from the drought of Jesus, it needed to be gutted. The Word of God has been and will always be the foundation on which my heart was restored and remains whole. It is now filled full of His promises and His Truth.
The temptation before you may seem like serenity and satisfaction on the surface, but it is not and will indeed bring suffering. It is simply not worth it.
Jesus Christ is worth turning away from sin and turning towards Him.
He loves you friend, and He will be a balm to your soul, healing to your heart, and love beyond comprehension.
Practice Because We Are Imperfect
Pray daily for the Lord to give you a pure heart. He will.
Ask Him to restore you. He will.
Check out The Bible Recap by Tara Leigh Cobble to help you daily fill your heart with God’s Word to remain steadfast in your walk with Him.
