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Do You Ever Feel Stuck?
Recently, I found myself in a completely incomprehensible situation. It was so beyond anything I could imagine that my natural tendency to “rise to the occasion” just shut down. I felt shell-shocked, and I had no idea what to do.
Two of my longest and closest friends were experiencing life-altering events within days of each other. One friend’s daughter was getting married. The other friend’s son had just died unexpectedly on a normal day in a tragic car accident. The funeral for my friend’s son fell on the same day as the wedding for my other friend’s daughter.
An empty heart that turns toward God will know what it means to be filled
It's that time of year when comfort food becomes, well, comforting. I live in Illinois, where the temperatures can change at the drop of a hat this time of year. We might need a sweater and jacket in the morning,
A Psalm for the Barbie in all of us
Today's world says women must be successful, get noticed, be thin, be charming, stand out, and be beautiful. We must be intelligent, talented, sexy, yet classy, bold, witty, organized, healthy, creative, punctual, and take perfect care of everyone around us. The list of roles we attempt to fill flawlessly is never-ending. Do I sound like the Barbie movie yet?
Is Jesus Enough?
“I just wanted Jesus to be enough,” flashed in my mind with a faith-battering force as I sat frightened and alone in the Turkish psychiatric hospital. My life had imploded. I was the wife to an adoring husband, the mother of 4 beautiful children, and lived my days as a missionary in a predominantly Muslim country sharing hope in Christ. Childhood trauma, effortlessly concealed behind a well-manicured appearance, gnawed away at my mind going unnoticed by even those closest to me. Dangerous thoughts, strangely coexisting with Scripture, had taken up residence in my mind, secretly threatening my life by irrationally presenting death as the only option of escape.
Happy New Year!
I've always been a sucker for the new year and the fresh feeling it brings. For me, early January typically comes with a sigh of relief as the hustle and bustle of the holidays fade away, and a fresh new hope is on the horizon as we prepare for another trip around the sun. As my Christmas décor comes down and I sweep glitter and pine needle debris into my dustpan, I'm often fooled into thinking I'll do something similar with all the yucky parts of my life in the coming new year as well.
Where is Your Promise, God?
I’m the queen of both romanticism and nostalgia. This means that my vision of an upcoming change in life doesn’t always match reality. If we decide to move across the country for my husband’s job, I tend to romanticize the change with cautious optimism while greatly minimizing its challenges. Or, if time ushers in a new life stage, such as the beginning of middle age, I go to the other extreme and embrace nostalgia while despairing that the future will never be as enjoyable and meaningful as the past. In either case, my tendency to imagine the future creates expectations that slam into reality and produce disappointment and discontentment once one chapter closes and another one opens. Can you relate to either of these? Whether we are optimistically romantic, or hopelessly nostalgic, our presumptive nature is a tactic to help us manage our expectations and quiet our fears.
If I Do It, What’s It Going To Hurt?
This one is for the girl that is one step away from making the decision to catapult her into the depths of sin that will forever change her life. To the one who is standing on the brink of that choice, that escape that seems so right, so intriguing, and satisfying; it will make you feel better if you do it, and you might even feel on top of the world.
For a moment.
How Can I Find a Blessing in My Pain?
Are you going through something right now that feels hard and painful? Whether it’s a divorce, the rebellion of a child, an injustice that threatens your future, or a different stressful situation, life isn’t short of difficulties that disrupt our peace and threaten our contentment. On top of the ups and downs in each of our lives, society has dealt with a pandemic, supply shortages, inflation, and the war in Ukraine. It’s not surprising that many people say their mental health is challenged. Combining a personal hardship with our societal challenges is enough to steal our hope and rob us of any remaining optimism for the future. When our lives are interrupted by unpleasant circumstances, we just want it all to stop and life to return to “normal”. My normal was disrupted the other day
What’s With Obedience?
Several years ago I accidentally put a knife through my hand while cutting an avocado. It immediately began bleeding profusely and my husband quickly wanted to call 911. I told him not to because I was convinced it would eventually stop bleeding and I would be ok. Thankfully, he didn’t listen to me and called anyway. I stood over the sink with my hand clenched, not letting anyone examine it.
Does God Know What He’s Doing?
Have you ever experienced a moment that turned your life upside down and left you feeling disoriented and distraught? Maybe that describes your current reality and you’re wondering if the future will ever feel promising again. Whether we try harder or deny its existence or numb it or push through it, emotional pain isn’t healthy to ignore. It must be addressed, or it will start to control our actions.
What Will They Think of Me?
For so long, I wanted everyone to think I had it together. I wanted people to think I was perfect, therefore, I presented myself each day as if life was flawless. It was this longing to be loved, to be liked and accepted and it was exhausting. Inside, I was so desperate, I was miserable and continued to seek satisfaction in so many other ways because I was too scared to bare my soul and admit I was struggling.
What Can God Add to My Life?
Everyone must start somewhere and as beginnings go, mine was pretty great. I had parents who loved and advocated for me. I had grandparents who teased that I could find a home with them if I ever wanted to run away from my parents. My birthday was celebrated every year with unique cakes that my mom made from scratch, and I have scrapbooks filled with pictures to capture special occasions and milestones from my childhood.
If there was a flaw in my well-nurtured background, it happened with the very best of intentions. Passed down to me was the belief that I could do and be anything, assuming I worked hard enough. Something got lost in the translation from what was said to what I heard, and I adopted the belief that average wasn’t acceptable.
This conviction was reinforced when I expressed interest in becoming a nurse. In an upbeat tone filled with confidence came the response, “Don’t be a nurse. Be a doctor.”
As mistakes go, erring on the side of believing in your kids and encouraging them to reach their full potential isn’t a disastrous mistake, but it cultivated in me a skewed sense of what was important in life. Most important was worldly achievement, not personal fulfillment or spiritual enrichment or emotional contentment.
Can I Stop Being a People-Pleaser?
I could spin around in circles trying to please the crowd but would still be left with feelings of emptiness inside. I cannot please everyone, and even if I could, the validation that might follow would be short-lived and fleeting. I will never be enough for this world, and this world will never be enough for me. My only hope is Jesus.
From Resistance to Surrender
Hi, I’m Susan, and I struggle with trust and will issues. This is funny, because if you met me, you would find me to be very trusting and far more likely to empathize with you than to impose my solutions for your problems. My trust and resolve battle lies with God, not between you and me.
Is God Stingy?