Can You Wrestle with God and Win?
“saying, Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (ESV)
Luke 22:42
“I’m so proud of you, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!”
This is a common phrase that I see on social media when parents want to mark the end of a significant chapter in their children’s lives. Their child’s last high school athletic game, band concert, dance, graduation, or even move-in day at college all cause parents to swell with pride and share this milestone on social media. I totally get it. I’ve shared my kids’ milestones as well. But when I read, “I can’t wait to see what comes next,” I feel like that doesn’t tell the whole story.
While it’s exciting to realize that your baby is now a young adult, it’s also bittersweet. Their new beginning can feel ominously like the beginning of our end.
Our kids will turn the page to open a thrilling new chapter full of promise, while we silently wonder if the future pages of our lives will hold any promise at all. For some parents, excitement co-mingles with an aching loss. How can any next adventure compare to the fullness of the exhilarating, exasperating, refining, and deeply fulfilling job of raising the next generation?
In addition to managing our own feelings of loss, we sometimes discover that our budding young adults graduate full of our diligent teachings but feel surprisingly liberated to make different choices and take a path we might label as unwise. Not only that, they may call home and complain about their problems, but instead of embracing parental advice, many simply want a sympathetic ear.
For me, this is when the hard stuff began. I wanted desperately to help them, but I couldn’t. Between their newfound freedom to make their own decisions and my lack of magical powers, I couldn’t fix their issues. I couldn’t make their classes easier. I couldn’t summon the right friends. I couldn’t give them a safe place to stay when their roommates threw a drunken party, and I couldn’t even get them to follow my well-meaning advice about any of the above. It was time to let go and let God work in their lives, which brings me to my point.
Do you ever wonder why God doesn’t supply what seems to be a perfect prayer request? I had several specific requests that I felt would be perfect for my kids, but God didn’t grant them.
What are you praying for right now that God hasn’t answered? Is it healing, a financial need, a relationship repair, a new job, wisdom and discernment, or something else that weighs heavily on your soul? I wish I could confidently tell you to keep praying because God will eventually supply what you want. However, we both know that’s not true, and to be honest, isn’t that a relief?
If God gave us exactly the solution we wanted, He couldn’t add His wisdom to the equation.
Despite our confidence, we don’t know the perfect solution because we can’t fully know the hearts of those we pray for, even sometimes, our own.
If time has passed, and God hasn’t provided your request, would you consider surrendering your specifics and simply asking God to do His will instead?
Jesus modeled this trusting surrender in the Garden of Gethsemane, when He asked God to remove the cup of suffering that He was supposed to endure. After He prayed specifically for His will, He requested that God’s will be done, even if it meant Jesus’ desire would be denied.
It’s not easy for me to surrender my will to His, because I’m mindful that His will might not hold an easy ending. And if I’m honest, I prefer painless solutions over painful struggles. But painful struggles come wrapped in purpose. God allows the struggle to bring our will in alignment with His. And His will is full of wisdom, and His plan is full of promise.
Watching God work in the lives of my children was a little bit like watching paint dry. It took time and there often was no noticeable progress. But yielding to His will over my own produced a far more beautiful transformation in my children than if my well-meaning prayers had been mindlessly granted.
It’s so hard to surrender our will and blindly trust God to work, but exchanging your will for His invites Him to take something heartbreaking and turn it into something breathtaking.
This is what God did at Calvary, and it’s what He longs to do in your life. And someday, I would love for you to let me know what God accomplished through that surrender in your life.
Dear Heavenly Father, please give me faith to believe, patience to persevere, and endurance to trust your will over my own. Please work in this situation and encourage me with your presence while I wait. Thank you, Jesus, that your ways are better than mine. Amen.