Is It Always Going to Be Like This?

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17 (ESV)

It happened on the last day of our vacation. We were sitting down for lunch when my sister called. After two and a half years on hospice, Mom had taken a turn for the worse. No one knows when someone will die, but the nurses estimated that Mom had a week or two left.

Never was I so thankful that our flight home was leaving that night. On our layover, my sister called again. Mom was still with us, but the nurses revised their estimate and thought she might pass in the next few days.

Mom died a day later. Although I had been prepared for this over the last couple of years, the abrupt ending was still a shock. A lump that felt like the size of a golf ball ached in my throat. I lost my appetite, and I covered my face with my hands while the tears flowed.

Any loss hurts. A divorce hurts. An illness that threatens your health hurts. Unexpected financial instability, a layoff, a blow to your reputation, the death of a spouse, friend, or child all hurt. What loss have you suffered that makes your days hard to face?

The day after Mom died, I was in the bathroom of our hotel. It had been cloudy the previous two days, but today was clear and bright. The brilliant sun seeped in determinedly around the edges of a shade pulled down over the bathroom window. The sun was relentlessly cheerful, and I recoiled against its light. It felt inappropriate that the outside world radiated happiness when my world felt sad.

That’s when the Spirit reminded me of the pastor’s wisdom. The pastor had encouraged us to work toward looking back at what we had with gratitude. Could you do that with your loss?

I wasn’t ready to feel thankful. Mom had been a faithful example of sacrificial love to me my entire life. I wasn’t sure how to make sense of life without her, and I certainly didn’t feel ready to be thankful for her presence while I was reeling at her absence.

The last thing I felt at that moment was gratitude. And yet, somewhere deep inside, an ember of faith worked its way through my defiance and managed to give credence to the pastor’s suggestion. Desperate for some relief, right there in the bathroom, with my shattered spirit bathed in the relentless sun, I thanked God for the gift of mom.

James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (ESV)

For most of my life, I applied that verse so casually. I recognized its truth while trusting in my own hard work, aptitude, strong commitment, or just plain good luck. It’s human nature to believe that our actions matter, and they do. But we must recognize that behind our gifts and talents is God who provided them. Our family, friends, job, health, success, reputation, talent, achievements, and any other good things are His gifts to us. These gifts get ripped away by sin, the sting of death, or the world’s merciless ways, but God has an endless supply of worldly gifts to bestow on us. And the Gift Giver is generous, merciful, capable, and kind.

As gratefulness and sorrow and tears all combined together in that hotel bathroom, I felt a gentle and comforting presence and a tender infusion of strength, almost as if I was being carried. God met me in my gratefulness, and I felt His reassuring presence. In that moment, grief partnered with hope, and I found my way forward.

The wise pastor knew that gratitude would be the catalyst to provide a healing perspective.

Our grief is great because our loss is great, but God is greater still.

What loss are you grieving in your life?

Can you thank God for what you recently lost and acknowledge that He was responsible for providing it? Acknowledging His provision becomes your first small step out of sadness into a footprint filled with a little bit of promise. That initial step is the hardest, but it’s the beginning of healthy healing, and it’s also the lifeline that we need to move forward with peace.

Dear Jesus, thank you for your gift of __________. What you provided was beautiful, and I loved it very much. Forgive me for taking it for granted and assuming that I was responsible for it. It’s only you, God. You are the reason I had _________ in my life. Thank you, Jesus. Help me trust that I can move forward without this gift and help me recognize your future blessings. In Your name I pray, Amen.

Resources to Help

Songs:

1.      “From Whom All Blessings Flow (Doxology)” Hillsong Worship or

2.      “Doxology//Amen” Phil Wickham

To do:

1.      Memorize either James 1:17 (ESV) “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” Or

1 Corinthians 1:30 (MSG) “Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ.” 

2.      Continue to give thanks to God when sadness arrives. Healing takes time.