Why Can’t Things Go Back To The Way They Were?
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19
(NIV)
For a few years after my affair was exposed, I spent many a day just begging the Lord to make everything go back to normal. I was yearning so badly for normal. I longed for people to trust me again, for friends to want to be around me again and I ached for people to look at me like they used to, treat me like they used to. There was desperation for everyone to know that I was changed, that I was transformed, that I was different. It was there that I found myself falling into another trap of the enemy consumed with what people thought about me more than I was consumed with what Jesus was doing in me. I was trying my best to do everything right, clinging to friendships as if I was terrified to lose them because I’d already lost so many. I was working hard, going into overdrive, trying to prove myself to be good and it was exhausting.
Finally, as I was sitting in a hotel room in Houston, Texas I heard the Lord say, ”Stop.” I was attending a conference there and had just heard a speaker say a very simple phrase, “I need nothing but Jesus.” That is a pretty basic statement, yes. Yet, it was profound for me at that moment. It was a light bulb turning on where I realized that nothing on this planet is worth anything to me if my heart isn’t fixed on the very One who made it. All I am responsible for is my moments with the Lord, the time that I invest in building my relationship with Him and it will manifest itself into every part of my being, every part of my life, when I let it. I had to stop yearning for the so-called normal and start solely yearning for Him.
When we do this; when we are fully devoted and steadfast in our relationship with Him, the outcome is a supernatural peace and contentment that is indescribable. My eyes and my heart are solely fixed on the One who rescued me, the One who transformed me, and the One who is going to use me uniquely for His glory. The rest of life falls into place from there.
Our job is to seek the Lord. Our job is to love Him with all of our hearts. He will unquestionably take care of everything else. When we allow Him to come in and transform us, when we find our full confidence and identity in Him, it will pour out of every part of us.
The Lord spoke to me in that hotel room. I felt His presence and He was gently nudging me to rest in Him and be whom He was calling me to be. I imagined Him in that moment cupping my face in His hands, looking at me in the eyes, and saying keep focused right here and don’t look left or right.
I cannot go back and rewrite my story and neither can you. All we can do is bring what we’ve got, surrender it to the Almighty and allow Him to use us! I walked away from that weekend fully believing that the Lord was not done with me, and He wasn’t. He was just getting started. He is indeed using me and my story for His glory and friend He can do the same with you.
Come on out, come out of the rubble, dust yourself off, and be ready to walk boldly ahead fixated on Him, resting in His Word, trusting in His faithfulness. Let Him transform you. He will instill a passion in you that compels the people around you, where they will see Him in you above anything else. I want nothing else for you.
Friend, you don’t want things to go back to the way they were. Don’t go back to what you thought was normal, walk forward in the newness He has for you. Rest assured dear one, He makes all things new.
Practice Because We’re Imperfect
Point your praise and adoration to the One True God. Replace Truth where the lies of the enemy have tried to take you out or cause you question. A great resource for this is Encouragement Verse Cards from The Daily Grace Co. https://thedailygraceco.com/collections/verse-cards/products/encouragement-verse-card-set
Listen to Tauren Wells song; “Until Grace.”
