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Do You Hate to Admit When You’re Wrong?
Pride hinders our relationship with God because refusing to acknowledge our shortcomings is an attempt to deny our imperfections. Whether we mean for it to or not, that implies that we are equal with God, and that robs Him of the praise and glory He deserves. We can’t be humble when we have things to hide.
Why Can’t Things Go Back To The Way They Were?
For a few years after my affair was exposed, I spent many a day just begging the Lord to make everything go back to normal. I was yearning so badly for normal. I longed for people to trust me again, for friends to want to be around me again and I ached for people to look at me like they used to, treat me like they used to. There was desperation for everyone to know that I was changed, that I was transformed, that I was different. It was there that I found myself falling into another trap of the enemy consumed with what people thought about me more than I was consumed with what Jesus was doing in me. I was trying my best to do everything right, clinging to friendships as if I was terrified to lose them because I’d already lost so many. I was working hard going into overdrive trying to prove myself to be good and it was exhausting.
What Will They Think of Me?
For so long, I wanted everyone to think I had it together. I wanted people to think I was perfect, therefore, I presented myself each day as if life was flawless. It was this longing to be loved, to be liked and accepted and it was exhausting. Inside, I was so desperate, I was miserable and continued to seek satisfaction in so many other ways because I was too scared to bare my soul and admit I was struggling.
What if I’m Not Enough?
“No one would like the real you,” whispered Insecurity in my head. You don’t fit in. You’re socially awkward. You aren’t as pretty, or as smart, or as sophisticated as them. Does that thought ever run through your head too? I was in eighth grade the day that insecurity slipped into my life and started to follow me around like an unwanted friend.