For a few years after my affair was exposed, I spent many a day just begging the Lord to make everything go back to normal. I was yearning so badly for normal. I longed for people to trust me again, for friends to want to be around me again and I ached for people to look at me like they used to, treat me like they used to. There was desperation for everyone to know that I was changed, that I was transformed, that I was different. It was there that I found myself falling into another trap of the enemy consumed with what people thought about me more than I was consumed with what Jesus was doing in me. I was trying my best to do everything right, clinging to friendships as if I was terrified to lose them because I’d already lost so many. I was working hard going into overdrive trying to prove myself to be good and it was exhausting.