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What Is Immeasurably More?
The safari was everything we hoped for, offering a brief respite for our Western sensibilities from the disease and desperate need we saw on most of our trip. Yet we quickly learned that well-dressed Ugandans think differently than the average American. “What are you looking for?” I asked our Uganda guide as he escorted us down the path towards our villa after dinner. “Hippos,” as if that was a perfectly normal answer.
“What are you going to do if you see one?” “I’ll bang two rocks together in my hands to scare the hippo.” Two rocks to scare the hippos, I thought in disbelief. “If that doesn’t work?” “Just don’t run in a straight line. Hippos can only run in a straight line.”
Obeying God feels like God wants something from me. In the case of the hippos, maybe God wanted a little more faith. Other times, He’s asking for my time, money, energy, or pride, but always faith. A water well. Obedience requires me to think more of Him and less of me. But obedience mostly feels like less of me. Like I’m giving up something for God. And this may be true in the short term. But obeying God really means more of Him.
What if I doubt God?
Recently, one of my children came to me with an intense look of fear in their eyes. They began asking me what would happen if they had feelings of doubt about God's existence. Some Christian parents might get worried in this instance- but I didn't. I know this child's heart all too well, and while they struggle with a bit of anxiety here and there, I am confident that they love Jesus with all that is in them. Furthermore, I understood that same feeling of doubt and the fear that often rides shotgun along with it. This doubt, especially as a young Christian, can feel paralyzing.
When Wedding Vows Go Up In Smoke
While most newlywed fights start over silly matters like him leaving his underwear on the floor or her burning dinner, our marriage started with us learning to manage a blended family, having a child together who had severe medical issues, and Justin was traveling often for his job. As we tried to juggle it all, we both realized that, to make matters worse, each of us had brought a lot of prior baggage to our relationship. The fights were frequent, and resentment ran rampant. Now this was happening, and I worried we wouldn’t survive it.
What Should We Do When It Gets Hard to Follow God?
Lesson #11 on a Journey to a Water Well
Have you ever noticed sometimes life gets harder before it gets easier?
Sometimes taking a step of faith ushers in challenges and uncertainties. Life can get harder before it gets better. But it doesn't mean we're on the wrong path. Quite the contrary, we may have finally stumbled upon God's will.
That was our experience after committing to sponsor the water well in September 2015. We were confident of God's plan for the water well and had witnessed God prepare our hearts as He miraculously positioned us to fulfill this need.
But we didn't expect life to get harder.
Does God Give Sneak Peeks?
Lesson #9 on Journey to a Water Well.
A few days after I met my new friend on the playground in June 2015, she invited Ben to her son's birthday party.
As Ben and I walked into the party, we noticed a man sitting outside the venue, simultaneously striking keys on a laptop while nodding his head with the phone to his ear. His call ended before we passed, and he jumped up to introduce himself as the father of Ben’s friend.
When we mentioned their upcoming move, He shared the vision God had cast for their mission with Amazima Ministries and how God had connected them to Katie in Uganda. His passion was palpable and scripture coursed throughout his conversation.
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Will She Ever Talk To Me Again?
I was standing in the same place that I do every Sunday morning at church as I welcome people, answer questions, and help wherever necessary. I glanced over my shoulder and there she was; an old friend that I had not spoken to in over eight years. As I watched her get closer and closer, everything about our last interaction came rushing back to my mind. This was someone who had been struck by the shrapnel of my reckless words, and bad decisions. All those years ago, hateful talk had been exchanged and promises were declared that we would never speak again.
Would a real Christian do that?
Is it possible to know deep in your heart that salvation belongs to you yet still fear it could slip through your fingers at any moment?
How Does Grace Work?
Just after my world fell apart, after my bad choices were exposed, I couldn’t escape it anywhere. I was walking through the grocery store one day and encountered a woman from my church on the same aisle. Before everything was exposed and I became a spectacle in the eyes of many, this woman would have said hello and chatted for a few minutes. This day was different; she saw me and immediately turned around and went to another aisle without even a smile or hello. I was shattered. I was convinced I would be treated this way forever and that my life was over.
What does God have to do with it?
I am aware of the dangerous ground I tread on today by addressing such a divided matter, and I want to be clear that I'm not here to judge or shame anyone. I also won't ever pretend to understand someone else's story. So today, I only write to share an incredibly personal part of mine with you that I've never shared publicly before. There are parts I'm not proud of, but it's a testimony filled with truth and the hope of Jesus, and I hope and pray it will help someone else along the way.
Can you let go of white-knuckled living?
I have a confession. I love everything about being a mom…except sitting in the passenger seat when our kids are learning how to drive.
They saw independence, freedom, and an exciting future. I saw the potential for an accident with possibly life-altering consequences. While our new drivers enthusiastically tackled busier roads and more complicated intersections, I hid my nerves to avoid undermining their confidence. Quite often, I found myself clenching my hands together so tightly that my knuckles turned white, and I had to take a deep breath because I realized that unconsciously, I was barely breathing.
Of course, I prayed for safety before these nerve-wracking road sessions, but we live in a fallen world and my petitions for protection sometimes felt more like frantic pleas. What if God allowed an accident despite my prayers?
What’s the difference between believing in God versus believing God?
So many years before, I had doubted God. I realized that although I had believed in God, I had failed to believe God. I had thought they were the same thing.
I believed in Jesus. I believed He was good enough to forgive me of my sins, but I struggled to believe He was good enough to be trusted with my life.
Why Can’t Things Go Back To The Way They Were?
For a few years after my affair was exposed, I spent many a day just begging the Lord to make everything go back to normal. I was yearning so badly for normal. I longed for people to trust me again, for friends to want to be around me again and I ached for people to look at me like they used to, treat me like they used to. There was desperation for everyone to know that I was changed, that I was transformed, that I was different. It was there that I found myself falling into another trap of the enemy consumed with what people thought about me more than I was consumed with what Jesus was doing in me. I was trying my best to do everything right, clinging to friendships as if I was terrified to lose them because I’d already lost so many. I was working hard going into overdrive trying to prove myself to be good and it was exhausting.
How can I be sure that I’ll make it to Heaven?
God's grace is so mysterious because we often feel like we don't deserve it, and we're exactly right. We don't. But He gave it freely anyway. Grace is absolutely scandalous! How could a seasoned criminal skeet by with a free pass? How could the adulterous woman be given a second shot? How could God look upon me as I was drowning in a sea of drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity and decide that I was worthy of His love?
Will God Use a Half-Hearted Yes?
God wants to move us from unfulfillment to fulfillment. But sometimes, we don’t realize we’re living in unfulfillment. And the path God’s suggesting doesn’t seem like the road to satisfaction. Truthfully, it’s hard to grasp the magnitude of God’s Faithfulness if we never step out of the safety and security of our well-orchestrated lives.