From Shame to Grace

“Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved so much.”

(Luke 7:47a CSB)

Hi there, friend! I’m Mackenzie. I couldn’t be more excited for you to come alongside me on this journey. My hope is that we will grow in our faith together as we learn to walk more intimately with Jesus. I used to have this idea of what Christianity looked like. I guess I thought that we were supposed to arrive at our intended destinations while here on earth. I assumed that all true Christians had this faith thing completely figured out. And for a long time, I thought, I’m not like those people. I just don’t get it the way they do. I secretly hoped that one day I would arrive where they were. But today, I’m here to tell you that I’ve been trekking this Christian path out for a while now, and so far, the only place I have “arrived” is at the feet of Jesus.

I asked Jesus into my heart when I was a young girl, but I’m not quite sure I knew exactly what I was doing. You see, I believed that Jesus was real, and I believed that He was good, but I didn’t believe He could possibly find any good in me. I somehow thought receiving His grace was based on who I was. I realized at a young age that if this were the case, His grace was entirely out of my reach. I spent much of my life feeling like a bad kid. There was hurt, chaos, and abuse in my childhood, and I battled extreme feelings of low self-worth. I moved out on my own at the age of sixteen, and I began making a lot of regretful decisions based on the way I felt about myself. Before I knew it, I had traveled down a dark and lonely road filled with sin and shame. My everyday life was riddled with drinking, heavy drug use, and promiscuity. And if I had thought my chances of making it into Heaven were slim before, at this point, I was sure I was headed straight for doom.

For years, I turned away from God. I was afraid to face Him and so very ashamed of the disgrace that seemed to fully clothe me now. But eventually, I decided I would tip-toe a little closer to Him. I began to study His word and search out who He really is and what He expects from His children. I began to seek Him in prayer and ask Him what it was that He wanted from me. And I began to understand that His grace was never dependent on me or my performance after all. It has always been based entirely upon Him and who He is. I just had to choose to believe in my heart that He was bigger than my failures.

It didn’t happen for me overnight, but when I finally understood His precious grace, it forever rocked my world! I learned that God’s grace is the rule breaker. It’s the plot twist. It’s the mic-drop! And friend, you and I both have access to it! Not only that, but He warmly welcomes us to lean into it- no matter who we are, where we came from, or what we’ve done. He deeply wants an intimate connection with us. Knowing this should turn our hearts inside-out and upside-down. This grace of His - it’s no small thing! It is something to be cherished and celebrated daily!

In the past, I spent a lot of time questioning my salvation. Was I truly a Christian? Would I really make it to Heaven? Had I gone too far off track for Him to forgive me now? Today these questions are no longer part of my self-interrogation routine. In place of those questions, I now find myself examining my heart with thoughts like, Do I see how much He loves me? Can my heart fathom what He has done for me? What is my response to this precious gift He has given to me? How can I help others understand and experience His love in the same way He has allowed me to? This sweet friend is why I’m so very excited to wander and roam this adventure with you. If you have experienced similar questions or emotions, I have a feeling we’re going to make wonderful travel companions. Understanding His grace will allow us to break FREE but consistently moving forward in our walk of faith is how He will enable us to FLOURISH. Buckle up, sister. It's a brand new year, and we’ve got quite the journey ahead.