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How Do We Steward Well?
Tuesday started like I expected: an abbreviated quiet time, the kids off to school, and me out the door to my uncle's house. Because they moved him up, I hoped to run a few Christmas errands after his four-hour infusion appointment. But life took a hard right turn. Instead of shopping, wrapping, and cooking, I sat bewildered by his side for days, waiting. But also utterly aware of the sacred opportunity God entrusted to those he loved.
More than ever, God teaches how to love Him with open hands. Open to what He gives without clinging to what we want. Learning to let go of expectations and plans and trust where He leads.
What Is Immeasurably More?
The safari was everything we hoped for, offering a brief respite for our Western sensibilities from the disease and desperate need we saw on most of our trip. Yet we quickly learned that well-dressed Ugandans think differently than the average American. “What are you looking for?” I asked our Uganda guide as he escorted us down the path towards our villa after dinner. “Hippos,” as if that was a perfectly normal answer.
“What are you going to do if you see one?” “I’ll bang two rocks together in my hands to scare the hippo.” Two rocks to scare the hippos, I thought in disbelief. “If that doesn’t work?” “Just don’t run in a straight line. Hippos can only run in a straight line.”
Obeying God feels like God wants something from me. In the case of the hippos, maybe God wanted a little more faith. Other times, He’s asking for my time, money, energy, or pride, but always faith. A water well. Obedience requires me to think more of Him and less of me. But obedience mostly feels like less of me. Like I’m giving up something for God. And this may be true in the short term. But obeying God really means more of Him.
Trusting the Gardener
This past spring, we did a lot of work in our backyard. One of my favorite additions was the many container plants with gorgeous blooming flowers that now dot our entire landscape. Always a summer go-to flower are my sun-loving petunias. They are easy to care for and one of the most vibrant summer flowers I've found. I often grab them in pinks, purples, yellows, and corals. In the early part of the season, I feed them a little Miracle Grow, and these fun little beauties thrive! I mean billowing and cascading over the sides and bursting with lush colors. It's hard not to be filled with the sweetness of summer while gazing at them, and this year they overflowed.
When Godly People Give Ungodly Advice
Saying yes to God can be hard. Most of the time, it requires courage. Sometimes, it means following God in ways others don't understand or always agree.
We won't always understand what God is doing.
In Matthew 16, Jesus commended Peter for his spiritual discernment. Peter identified Jesus as the Messiah, the Son of the living God. But four verses later, when Jesus' predicted His death and resurrection, Peter rebuked Jesus. "Never, Lord!..." This shall never happen to you!" (Matthew 16:22)
I can only imagine how stunned Peter must have been to hear, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." (Matthew 16:23)
The truth is sometimes, like Peter, godly people give ungodly advice.
Is God Big Enough To Deal With This?
I remember as a little girl, one particular day, we had ventured to the beach. I was sitting at the water’s edge with my cousins when a fierce wave came crashing in and began to pull me towards deep water. As the force of this wave began to pull me out and just as I was beginning to panic, I felt my Mom’s arms swoop around me drawing me to safety. To this very day, almost 40 years later, I can still remember the moment of pure peace and comfort in my Mother’s arms just moments after sheer panic.
What if I doubt God?
Recently, one of my children came to me with an intense look of fear in their eyes. They began asking me what would happen if they had feelings of doubt about God's existence. Some Christian parents might get worried in this instance- but I didn't. I know this child's heart all too well, and while they struggle with a bit of anxiety here and there, I am confident that they love Jesus with all that is in them. Furthermore, I understood that same feeling of doubt and the fear that often rides shotgun along with it. This doubt, especially as a young Christian, can feel paralyzing.
Do You Feel Imprisoned by Problems or Held Hostage by Fear?
“Be joyful always; pray continually; and give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. This sounds like pithy advice, but Paul knew the difficulty and power of God’s command.
In Acts 16, Paul and Silas were unjustly jailed and bound with chains. Paul sat in a dark lonely jail cell, not knowing what tomorrow would bring. He didn’t have control over his future. Paul didn’t deserve to be beaten, jailed, or bound with chains. And I’m guessing he didn’t understand why God allowed this injustice. His physical pain mirrored his inner torment.
We, too, can find ourselves in a dark and lonely place, not understanding why we’re here or what lies ahead. And like Paul, we don’t deserve cancer attacking us, the marriage unraveling, the loss of our job, or our child going wayward.
These realities are as painful as unfair.
Our souls feel imprisoned by pain and bound by fear. Our prisons have walls of anxiety and chains of fear. In the dark and lonely cells, the enemy seeks to rob us of our ability to recognize or experience God’s provision or joy.
But God.
When Wedding Vows Go Up In Smoke
While most newlywed fights start over silly matters like him leaving his underwear on the floor or her burning dinner, our marriage started with us learning to manage a blended family, having a child together who had severe medical issues, and Justin was traveling often for his job. As we tried to juggle it all, we both realized that, to make matters worse, each of us had brought a lot of prior baggage to our relationship. The fights were frequent, and resentment ran rampant. Now this was happening, and I worried we wouldn’t survive it.
Should I Stop Striving?
Years ago, I remembered thinking, One day, I won't be tempted to sin anymore. One day, I will fully trust God with all my son's health issues. One day, I'll stop searching for approval from others. One day, I won't struggle with God anymore.
What Should I Do?
One of the reasons it took me so long to get sober is that I was ashamed of my problem. I didn’t want anyone else to know that I couldn’t control my drinking. I was worried about what they would think. I refused to talk about it to anyone for over two years. All the while my self-confidence dissolved, and my emotional stability slowly weakened…
Would a real Christian do that?
Is it possible to know deep in your heart that salvation belongs to you yet still fear it could slip through your fingers at any moment?
What does God have to do with it?
I am aware of the dangerous ground I tread on today by addressing such a divided matter, and I want to be clear that I'm not here to judge or shame anyone. I also won't ever pretend to understand someone else's story. So today, I only write to share an incredibly personal part of mine with you that I've never shared publicly before. There are parts I'm not proud of, but it's a testimony filled with truth and the hope of Jesus, and I hope and pray it will help someone else along the way.
What’s the Worst That Can Happen?
Before I got sober, I tried to control everything. That control, born from the fear of failing at parenting, marriage, balancing home and work, hosting, Christian-ing, etc. kept me captive in a constant state of anxiety about kids’ schedules, home responsibilities, work commitments, personal and professional relationships, body image, and social standing. I worried what people thought, I obsessed about how things “looked,” and I compared myself to everyone else while I attempted to calculate, regulate and even manipulate my circumstances to achieve perfection. It. Was. Exhausting. So, I drank to cope with the pressure.
What’s the difference between believing in God versus believing God?
So many years before, I had doubted God. I realized that although I had believed in God, I had failed to believe God. I had thought they were the same thing.
I believed in Jesus. I believed He was good enough to forgive me of my sins, but I struggled to believe He was good enough to be trusted with my life.
How can I be sure that I’ll make it to Heaven?
God's grace is so mysterious because we often feel like we don't deserve it, and we're exactly right. We don't. But He gave it freely anyway. Grace is absolutely scandalous! How could a seasoned criminal skeet by with a free pass? How could the adulterous woman be given a second shot? How could God look upon me as I was drowning in a sea of drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity and decide that I was worthy of His love?
Can I Surrender to God's Plan When God's Plan Is Not My Own?
These battles have shattered my heart repeatedly, but each time, God has been there to put the broken pieces back together more beautifully than they were ever arranged before. He has used these moments to reveal Himself to me in such intimate ways. Our entire family has learned firsthand that tremendous pain can build tremendous faith- and to us, that's been worth every moment of the fight.
How Should God’s Love Impact Our Fears and Lead us to Yes?
Is anyone old enough to remember Tina Turner’s song “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” You might wonder what love has to do with freeing you from free or enabling you to say yes to God. In fact, you’d be wise to spend some time teasing out these spiritual mysteries. Fear has been in ample supply over the past two years, and we’ll hear a lot about love today since it’s Valentine’s Day. The better question is: how should God’s love impact our fears and lead us to yes?
Perfect Peace
Someone(s) is perfect. There, I said it. Behind the door marked “do not enter,” in that wing of my brain where guests aren’t invited, locked inside a secret safe with my files of fears, diary of shame and private collection of insecurities was the belief that perfection might be possible.
From Fear to Faith
I’m Alyssa and I’m an alcoholic. On July 16, 2015, I took my last drink. I didn’t know if it would be my last drink. I’d tried to have a last drink many times before, only days later to chase it with another first drink. But, I WANTED it to be…
From Shame to Grace
Hi there, friend! I’m Mackenzie. I couldn’t be more excited for you to come alongside me on this journey. My hope is that we will grow in our faith together as we learn to walk more intimately with Jesus. I used to have this idea of what Christianity looked like. I guess I thought that we were supposed to arrive at our intended destinations while here on earth. I assumed that all true Christians had this faith thing completely figured out. And for a long time, I thought, I’m not like those people. I just don’t get it the way they do. I secretly hoped that one day I would arrive where they were. But today, I’m here to tell you that I’ve been trekking this Christian path out for a while now, and so far, the only place I have “arrived” is at the feet of Jesus.