How Can I Help When I Feel So Helpless?
...for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
Philippians 1:19 (ESV)
I tend to overcomplicate things when I feel under pressure. One stormy night last summer, I frantically searched the house for flashlights while the lights flickered, and the wind whistled outside the windows. I was irritated that my three teenagers weren’t engaged in my panicked preparations for an impending power outage. My 16-year-old son sat up on the couch grinning while waving his cell phone and said, “you know, we could just use the flashlights we’re all holding right here in our hands...”
Anxiety and uncertainty can distract us from obvious, often simple, solutions. A family friend recently shared that her son just lost his family because of his alcoholism. Tearfully, she asked, “what should we do?!” I saw her suffering and heard her helplessness. I listened, affirmed her feelings and told her to pray. But she couldn’t hide her disappointment. Why not a to-do list, an action plan, a number to call or a book to read?! Praying seems too obvious for something that feels so uncertain. It sounds too simple for such a complex problem.
The Apostle Paul endured beatings, stoning, arrests and was imprisoned three times for preaching the gospel. During his incarceration, he wrote letters to his churches to continue teaching doctrine, help deepen their faith, and to demonstrate that a life dependent on Christ is filled with peace and joy even amidst adversity.
Paul wrote his most positive letter to the Philippians while chained to a Roman soldier. (And we’re annoyed when trying to send a text while the kids keep calling for “Mom!”) He urged the church to stay unified and joy-filled while he awaited trial. Despite his imprisonment, Paul rejoiced in his circumstances confident the Lord was in control and that the Philippians were praying for him. He felt peace, knowing deliverance in his situation was connected to their prayers! But it was not the prayer of the Philippians in and of itself. It was the Spirit of Jesus Christ that came to Paul through their prayers. Paul’s needs were met by the Spirit of God, brought about by the prayers of his followers.
When someone we love is suffering, it’s natural to want to do something. We become frantic, eager to find ways to help them weather the storm. But when we try to control things ourselves, we miss the obvious: who’s in control of it all. Instead of searching for new solutions, we can engage the Holy Spirit within us and intercede in prayer on behalf of others. We can share our fears, expose our helplessness, and request God's protection and peace for our loved one. His light can bathe them in clarity, comfort and courage, delivering them from darkness.
Practice Because We’re Imperfect:
1. Make a list of the issues surrounding your loved one that could be impacting:
~ their comfort-ways they’re hurting or fearful
~ their clarity-decisions to be made, consequences to consider and
~ their confidence-ability to persevere
2. Pray for those issues (and the ones you may not know about), bathing him/her in God’s promises:
~ to give us peace (John 14:27 and Deuteronomy 31:6)
~ that he has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11)
~ to fight for us (Exodus 14:4)
~ to always love us (1 John 4:9-10)
