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Why Does Surrender Feel So Scary?
It was 4 am as I stood trembling in front of the bathroom mirror and whispered “my life is not going to be the same!”. I had just taken a pregnancy test and to my dismay it was showing positive. A flood of worries came crashing into my head as I felt an overwhelm of emotions. How will this affect each of us in the family? Is my body ready for this journey? How will my teenage sons react to the news? How did this even happen?! I spent the next three hours with a million thoughts a minute racing through my mind.
What do you do when situations you thought were very much under your control and caution get overridden?
Do You Ever Feel Stuck?
Recently, I found myself in a completely incomprehensible situation. It was so beyond anything I could imagine that my natural tendency to “rise to the occasion” just shut down. I felt shell-shocked, and I had no idea what to do.
Two of my longest and closest friends were experiencing life-altering events within days of each other. One friend’s daughter was getting married. The other friend’s son had just died unexpectedly on a normal day in a tragic car accident. The funeral for my friend’s son fell on the same day as the wedding for my other friend’s daughter.
Is God Big Enough To Deal With This?
I remember as a little girl, one particular day, we had ventured to the beach. I was sitting at the water’s edge with my cousins when a fierce wave came crashing in and began to pull me towards deep water. As the force of this wave began to pull me out and just as I was beginning to panic, I felt my Mom’s arms swoop around me drawing me to safety. To this very day, almost 40 years later, I can still remember the moment of pure peace and comfort in my Mother’s arms just moments after sheer panic.
How Can I Hear God?
We so often think we know exactly what we need. A new job, more understanding from our spouse, a better attitude from our kids, healing, more money, deliverance from a trial. How could any of those desires differ from what God wants us to have?
Why So Long, Lord?
The other day, someone made a comment and it re-opened wounds that I thought had healed. It was completely unintentional on her end, and I was able to stay focused on the conversation with my friend. But her innocent proclamation unleashed a flood of torment in my soul. The anguish I felt came from a reminder that a long-term prayer request of mine has never been answered. It’s just dangling in the wind, waiting for God’s wisdom, and timing to dictate its resting place. Why did God answer her prayer and not mine?
How Can I Find a Blessing in My Pain?
Are you going through something right now that feels hard and painful? Whether it’s a divorce, the rebellion of a child, an injustice that threatens your future, or a different stressful situation, life isn’t short of difficulties that disrupt our peace and threaten our contentment. On top of the ups and downs in each of our lives, society has dealt with a pandemic, supply shortages, inflation, and the war in Ukraine. It’s not surprising that many people say their mental health is challenged. Combining a personal hardship with our societal challenges is enough to steal our hope and rob us of any remaining optimism for the future. When our lives are interrupted by unpleasant circumstances, we just want it all to stop and life to return to “normal”. My normal was disrupted the other day
What does God have to do with it?
I am aware of the dangerous ground I tread on today by addressing such a divided matter, and I want to be clear that I'm not here to judge or shame anyone. I also won't ever pretend to understand someone else's story. So today, I only write to share an incredibly personal part of mine with you that I've never shared publicly before. There are parts I'm not proud of, but it's a testimony filled with truth and the hope of Jesus, and I hope and pray it will help someone else along the way.
How will I respond to God's forgiveness?
I attend a large church in O'fallon, Illinois, that frequently hosts big conferences and events. Recently, our church housed a Matthew West concert in our worship center. My family and I met some friends there that night, and to ensure that our large group of 12 could all sit together, we decided to scope out the upper side loft of the church.
Preserving Power Mode
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty taking a nap...or asking to be alone in your room...or secretly driving around the block one...or even five times while enjoying your silent solitude in the car. Why? Why do we feel so bad?
Why do we long for a day at the spa? What’s the purpose of controlled breathing in child labor? Why are 911 operators even toned and patient, repeatedly asking callers to calm down? What do we tell our children when the site of blood from a scraped knee induces tears of hysteria? When our mind is focused and our body is calm, we’re better equipped to function. We can think more clearly, react more safely and work more efficiently. God created us to slow down in order to speed up.
Is God Trustworthy?
The thorns get our attention because we feel their pain. Loneliness, isolation, stress, anxiety, and desperately desired but unanswered prayers poke us every minute of every day, reminding us there must be something better than this!
We must surrender our own way to fix things and remind ourselves that God’s will is better than what we think is the best way.
Eating Comfort Food at Wine o'Clock after Retail Therapy
No wonder we’re quick to rosé all day, and shop ‘till we drop from a food coma. A glass of wine to take the edge off. A pint of ice cream to comfort a broken heart. A click on “submit purchase” to suppress the envy. We’ve all done it. It’s a natural human reaction to want to comfort uncomfortable feelings. Doing something to distract us from our problems, to numb negative feelings, is almost instinctual. Drinking, eating junk or going on a shopping spree feels good when we’re feeling bad ... in the moment. But responding to life's stressors with cabernet, candy, and click-throughs is not a wise long-term plan. Drowning our sorrows in frosty mugs or waffle cones is not self-care. Coronas, cupcakes, and Coach bags don’t help us cope! They only help us conceal. Self-care that promotes concealing over coping is self-medicating. And self-medicating is the first step down a slippery slope towards self-destruction.
Does God Know What He’s Doing?
Have you ever experienced a moment that turned your life upside down and left you feeling disoriented and distraught? Maybe that describes your current reality and you’re wondering if the future will ever feel promising again. Whether we try harder or deny its existence or numb it or push through it, emotional pain isn’t healthy to ignore. It must be addressed, or it will start to control our actions.
To-Dos, How-Tos and What-Ifs
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, while discussing where to eat with your husband, boyfriend or group of friends, “I don’t really care, I can’t make one more decision today. Someone else decide and just tell me where to go...”
Can you relate? We’re faced with so many decisions inside of one day. Choosing what to wear each morning (selecting which leggings and sweatshirt combo is still a choice), or what we’re going to eat is enough, but we often must do it for all the people in our home too! Let’s not even get into schedules. How and when to wash our hair, prepare meals, clean the house and shop for all the things to do all the above can leave us feeling like we’re in the movie, Groundhog Day. When to get everyone to the dentist? Their physicals? Haircuts? What to buy for any given friend, parent, child, friend’s child’s birthday next week...or even tomorrow. It’s A. LOT.
Can I Stop Being a People-Pleaser?
I could spin around in circles trying to please the crowd but would still be left with feelings of emptiness inside. I cannot please everyone, and even if I could, the validation that might follow would be short-lived and fleeting. I will never be enough for this world, and this world will never be enough for me. My only hope is Jesus.