To-Dos, How-Tos and What-Ifs
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34 (ESV)
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, while discussing where to eat with your husband, boyfriend or group of friends, “I don’t really care, I can’t make one more decision today. Someone else decide and just tell me where to go...”
Can you relate? We’re faced with so many decisions inside of one day. Choosing what to wear each morning (selecting which leggings and sweatshirt combo is still a choice), or what we’re going to eat is enough, but we often must do it for all the people in our home too! Let’s not even get into schedules. How and when to wash our hair, prepare meals, clean the house and shop for all the things to do all the above can leave us feeling like we’re in the movie, Groundhog Day. When to get everyone to the dentist? Their physicals? Haircuts? What to buy for any given friend, parent, child, friend’s child’s birthday next week...or even tomorrow. It’s A. LOT.
And let me just stop right here and bow down to the women who work while doing all of this. I spent 12 years juggling part-time and full-time work with raising littles. Now I work from home. Any-kind-of-working-mamas: you'll always have your own column on my prayer list, I SEE you! You have even less time for adding to, crossing out, and checking off the to-do list, click-list and boss’ list! Can we have a moment of silence, please, for our working friends?!
Single and college-aged women, and yet-to be moms, I haven't forgotten you. Accommodating different friend groups, explaining the choices you’re making (or not yet making) to family, managing a budget, and prioritizing goals for achieving which dreams to fulfill next are equally as significant and burdensome.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s not supposed to be.
As I’ve reflected on my years of self-medicating with alcohol, I’ve realized my need to plan, prepare and even perfect, were driven by fear. Fear of the future fueled my need to control my circumstances. I felt responsible for leading my life, to direct it where I’d determined it was destined to go. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, who our children will become, if our loved one will stay healthy, or how we’ll achieve all the things we’ve tried to believe into reality. And that uncertainty is unacceptable. We can’t handle it.
Neither could Eve.
She walked and talked with God-LIVE and in-person, the same God who’d created light and water and breathed life into all of existence just a few days before! Yet she still succumbed to Satan’s seeds of suspicion. Did God really say...? Everything went downhill from there. The life Eve had been promised, free from fear and responsibility, was over. Learning His power was more alluring than living in His plan. (Genesis 3:1-7)
Since the very beginning, we've been programmed for impatience, conditioned to control. Fear has convinced us that independence provides power and protection. But constantly wondering what if, longing to learn what’s next, and needing to know how, when, and where compromises our confidence and messes with our moods. We get anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. Before we know it, we’re consumed with how-tos, to-dos and what ifs. We aren’t living life, let alone loving it. We’re just surviving a sequence of events. One day we wake up, look around and ask ourselves, is this it?
“Jesus, take the wheel. Sister needs a break! Just tell me what to make for dinner!” So, He created meal delivery services and YouTube for step-by-step DIY videos...
Just kidding. I digress.
But he did spell it out for us. Jesus outlined explicit directions for how to “do” life. Jesus, the perfect example of God’s grace, simplified what Eve had complicated. In his famous Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), Jesus eliminates the guesswork. Rich in scope, He details how to live and love in just three chapters. He specifically addresses our fear of the future in chapter six, verses 25-34. After subtly referencing Eve’s misguided train of thought and the consequences of coveting control, Jesus directs us to the path of least resistance. An easier, simpler plan is spelled out in the very last verse.
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Easier said than done? It’s not. God tells us countless times throughout the bible, that He’s in control. Let Him be. He has a plan. Take comfort in that. Ask yourself, “what’s the worst thing that can happen if I”, or “if I don’t...?” Is any chore or task so important that it should be given authority over our days, our family, our moods? What are we afraid will happen if we don’t complete, command or control?
Before Adam and Eve took that fateful bite, God explained exactly what would happen if they chose to take matter into their own hands. If they ignored His provisions for peace and protection, they would die. Now our present-day definition of death is a loss of physical life, absence of breath and bodily functions. But in the Bible, death also means separation, being distanced from God, living a life that is less than what He intended for us. When you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities and obsessing over time and tasks, do you feel close to God? I don’t.
Our fear of the future, what could or couldn’t happen will always distract us from our faith. Fear is one of the most powerful weapons used by the Enemy to try and separate us from God. When we succumb to the pressures of tomorrow, we surrender our peace in today. When we take control, feeling responsible for every decision present and future, we forget God’s promises to plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and provide for us (Philippians 4:19), and to keep us in peace (John 14:27).
Resting in Him releases the pressure on us.
What’s hanging over your head today? What burden are you bearing that isn’t yours to carry? Concede control and you’ll find peace in being powerless. Let go and let God.
Practice Because We’re Imperfect
1.) Listen to the song, “Sparrows,” by Cory Asbury.
2.) Explore these two sets of scriptures. What does each set have in common? Write them somewhere, print them out and color them. Save them somewhere for reference on those harder days.
Psalm 16:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Jeremiah 10:23, Jeremiah 29:11
Psalm 23:3, Psalm 94:19, John 14:27, Philippians 4:6-7
3.) One of the best books I read early in motherhood as I was trying to balance work, home and family, was Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanna Weaver. It’s been over fifteen years and while I’m still not Martha even close to 100% of the time, that book has helped me approach my days differently, “giving me permission” to rest in Him before “doing all the things.”