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Why Does Surrender Feel So Scary?
It was 4 am as I stood trembling in front of the bathroom mirror and whispered “my life is not going to be the same!”. I had just taken a pregnancy test and to my dismay it was showing positive. A flood of worries came crashing into my head as I felt an overwhelm of emotions. How will this affect each of us in the family? Is my body ready for this journey? How will my teenage sons react to the news? How did this even happen?! I spent the next three hours with a million thoughts a minute racing through my mind.
What do you do when situations you thought were very much under your control and caution get overridden?
Do You Ever Feel Stuck?
Recently, I found myself in a completely incomprehensible situation. It was so beyond anything I could imagine that my natural tendency to “rise to the occasion” just shut down. I felt shell-shocked, and I had no idea what to do.
Two of my longest and closest friends were experiencing life-altering events within days of each other. One friend’s daughter was getting married. The other friend’s son had just died unexpectedly on a normal day in a tragic car accident. The funeral for my friend’s son fell on the same day as the wedding for my other friend’s daughter.
Can you let go of white-knuckled living?
I have a confession. I love everything about being a mom…except sitting in the passenger seat when our kids are learning how to drive.
They saw independence, freedom, and an exciting future. I saw the potential for an accident with possibly life-altering consequences. While our new drivers enthusiastically tackled busier roads and more complicated intersections, I hid my nerves to avoid undermining their confidence. Quite often, I found myself clenching my hands together so tightly that my knuckles turned white, and I had to take a deep breath because I realized that unconsciously, I was barely breathing.
Of course, I prayed for safety before these nerve-wracking road sessions, but we live in a fallen world and my petitions for protection sometimes felt more like frantic pleas. What if God allowed an accident despite my prayers?
Is God Trustworthy?
The thorns get our attention because we feel their pain. Loneliness, isolation, stress, anxiety, and desperately desired but unanswered prayers poke us every minute of every day, reminding us there must be something better than this!
We must surrender our own way to fix things and remind ourselves that God’s will is better than what we think is the best way.
What if I’m Not Enough?
“No one would like the real you,” whispered Insecurity in my head. You don’t fit in. You’re socially awkward. You aren’t as pretty, or as smart, or as sophisticated as them. Does that thought ever run through your head too? I was in eighth grade the day that insecurity slipped into my life and started to follow me around like an unwanted friend.