Authentically, Imperfectly Human
By Aubrey Carrales
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: most days I’m a hot mess. And by hot mess, I mean I’m usually trying my best, while juggling all my imperfections and the ups and downs of parenting, homeschooling, being a wife and friend, working a few part-time jobs, and everything else in between.
While I love this little life I have, sometimes I wonder if I’m doing anything right. Do my kids feel loved, or am I ruining them? Is my faith strong enough? Did I turn in a winning work project, or did I miss the mark? Does anyone truly relate to me, or am I alone and crazy? It’s hard being a human!
Perhaps my bent towards messiness explains why I enjoy reading about authentic people who readily admit they are imperfectly human, yet still live out their calling with joy and success. My favorite books are biographies and autobiographies that chronicle the struggles and triumphs of someone’s life. How comforting to know other people face adversity and challenges, doubt their abilities, struggle with insecurities, and are still used by the Lord for His purposes.
For instance, consider Elizabeth Elliot, who was a well-known writer and speaker. Her biography “Becoming Elizabeth Elliot” gives new insight into her fascinating life as a missionary, wife, mom, and widow. The book chronicles the incredible challenges she faced on the mission field, the brutal death of her husband, and how she trusted the Lord through all these things. The book left me in awe of all she endured while here on earth. I also enjoyed Beth Moore’s autobiography, “All My Knotted-Up Life,” filled with her Texas twang and wit. She shares little-known details of her walk with the Lord and her life in ministry, and she writes with a relatability that left me feeling less alone and slightly less crazy. Corrie Ten Boom, Amy Carmichael, Katherine Wolf, and many others have written wonderful books that encourage their readers to keep following the Lord despite life’s many challenges.
The Bible is also filled with stories of people walking with the Lord while struggling with the messiness of life. King David is a perfect example. He’s referred to as a man after God’s own heart (see I Samuel 13:14), not because he was perfect, but because he had a deep desire to follow the Lord. David endured many trials in life—he slayed a giant at a young age, ran from his enemies for many years, became king, and committed adultery and murder. Yet through all the ups and downs, David worshipped the Lord, sought forgiveness when needed, and meditated on His word day and night.
As these people have shown us,it is not perfection that makes us holy and successful, but a willingness to open our hearts to the Lord.
As a matter of fact, the word “heart” appears over 800 times in the Bible. In the Psalms, David wrote about the posture of his heart many times. For example, in Psalm 27:8, David writes, “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek.” In Psalm 51:10, David prays: “Create in me a pure heart, O Lord, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” In Psalm 139:23, David said, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”
The Lord always wants us to come to Him with open hearts, no matter how messy we feel. He can do miracles and move mountains with hearts willing to listen and obey, but stubborn spirits are hard to use. When we daily seek the Lord with all our heart and pray for a renewed spirit, we can move forward in the Lord’s purposes with a fresh start, ready for whatever He has in store for us.
If your life is feeling a little messy, isn’t it comforting to know you aren’t alone? These days it’s so easy to hide—behind a computer screen or elsewhere—and act like we have it all together. But when we hide, try to pretend, or fight the path God has us on, we pass right by opportunities and blessings from the Lord because our hearts aren’t in the right place.
My kids and I recently read this fitting kids’ poem titled “Masks,” by Shell Silverstein:
She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by—
And never knew.
Sometimes kids’ poems can be for adults, too! Authenticity is far greater than pretending to be something we aren’t—we miss out on so much when we aren’t being real. At the same time, don’t be too hard on yourself. God knows your heart, and he loves you just the way you are. He knows your feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, he knows your circumstances, and he also knows your strengths and unique qualities that make you fit for whatever you are facing today.
Let’s resolve to trade our masks for authenticity and ask the Lord to create in us a pure heart. Be encouraged by those who went before us and lived messy lives, yet still exemplified God’s relentless faithfulness. Their faults and hardships didn’t prevent their purpose, and yours won’t either—God can do wonders with a surrendered heart!
