What’s Next?

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

I have a daughter in her sophomore year of high school, another in her junior year of a high school and my son is a senior...in high school. We had three under three! It’s been a wild 18 years but I have loved having my kids so close together. We always joked that we were always playing in the same area of the amusement park at the same time. We never had to split up! Right now, all their sporting events are with the same friends, and they have the same interests and common things to talk about. It’s such a fun time!  

But it’s going so fast... 

I've heard it said that “the days are long, but the years are short.” I dismissed this cliché phrase during the toddler years, but it’s defining these teenaged years. And I’m struggling. What’s next? They’ll all graduate one right after another, and while I recognize the Enemy is trying to distract me from embracing these milestone moments, I can’t deny that I’m starting to wonder what I’ll do after the house is empty. Who will I be? What will my husband and I do with all our free time? 

I think much of our life is spent in this space. Whether we choose to-or are forced to-pause and acknowledge these periods, it’s overwhelming and painful. Uncertainty breeds anxiety. What’s the best way to endure? How do we persevere when we’re in a state of pending purpose? I’m feeling all the feels in one of these phases right this very moment. 

It's tormenting while we’re suspended between “knowing” and “not.” The now between the “before” and “after.” The if between the “then” and “when.” The standing still between the “approaching” and “next steps.” The wondering between the “pursuing” and “understanding.” 

The waiting in the middle... 

A few days ago, consumed with the future, I was trying to decide if I should pursue my writing again, try and grow my platform or pour into a new project. I was convinced I needed to start doing something else. I was sad and overwhelmed and then remembered the peace and clarity I always feel when I meditate. I got comfortable and clicked on the Abide app. This was the scripture posted for the “Daily Meditation.” 

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 

Over the soft background soundscape, the hypnotic voice of the narrator repeated the verse multiple times from different bible translations, encouraging me to meditate on which words stood out.  

I kept hearing, when we wait on the Lord, our strength is renewed. 

It didn’t say those who “work” for the Lord. No, it’s when we wait. While I’m not feeling physically weak or overburdened, my emotions are tired. I’m weary with worry about the coming years. I’ve not only been obsessing over what’s my next phase of life, but I’ve also been wrought with fear that I’ve haven’t perfectly prepared my kids for their next phase of life. 

My mind hasn’t been present for the here and now. I’ve taken for granted the daily gifts of having my kids at home, eating all the things, messing up the house, and driving all over the place. The Enemy is trying to steal my peace and contentment by taunting me with the belief that I need to figure out what’s next, that I need to do more.  

Hearing and reading this scripture repeatedly, I’ve been comforted by the reminder that I don’t need to do anything. I can’t see the future. I'm not supposed to (Jeremiah 29:11). I can’t plan and prepare for everything that’s coming, but I don’t need to (Proverbs 16:9). When we wait on the lord, our strength is renewed in preparation for what is coming! 

I’ve been reminded that in order to endure the unknown, I must embrace what I know about God. He has everything under control (Romans 8:28), He’s renewing my strength with His own (Isaiah 41:10) in preparation for what’s next, while I wait in the middle. 

Practice because We’re Imperfect

Try meditating on a scripture. Find an app you enjoy to help you focus. I like Abide. It’s hard and can be uncomfortable at first. Start with just a minute or two each day until you can stretch it longer!