Let's always leave room for grace.
Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1 (HCSB).
I'm convinced that one of the most profound flaws of the human condition is our unwavering ability to judge one another.
We've all felt the sting of judgment at one time or another. Whether we’ll admit it or not, we all care about what others think of us to some degree. Yet often, this doesn't deter us from sitting on a throne or pounding a gavel as we make conclusions about others.
I'll be the first to admit that I fear judgment more than I'd like to admit. This has been an ongoing battle in my life for years. I'm not proud of it, and though I have significantly improved in the last decade or so, sometimes I can still find myself awake at night wondering. Did I talk too much? Did I leave a bad impression? Did that comment come out entirely wrong?
One day in the spring of 2020, right in the thick of Covid madness, we were preparing to have a virtual video appointment with my son's new Neurologist. My son has been in a fierce battle with epilepsy for years, and understanding that we would likely be dealing with this woman a lot, I was anxious to develop a good relationship with her and make a great first impression.
Our home was under renovation and in complete disarray at the time, so I found the best little nook I could in my dining room and tidied up before we got on camera. I even put on a little makeup and fixed my hair for the first time in weeks. I ensured my son was sitting up straight and reminded him to use his manners. Finally, the appointment started, and all was going well. I was impressed with her, and she may have even been slightly impressed with us. That was until my husband walked in.
Justin had gotten a break between work calls and wanted to meet her too. This would have been perfectly fine on any other occasion, but remember the early days of covid when we were all learning to cut our own hair? Well, a few days prior, as a silly joke (and probably a lot of covid boredom), my husband, who is typically a business suit-wearing, clean-cut, fresh-shaven type of guy, decided to play the comedian. He woke me up one morning by surprising me with a brand-new hairstyle. I opened my eyes to my once dapper and handsome husband, now dawning a 1986 mullet and a Hulk Hogan-style Fu-Manchu mustache. Friends, I'm not exaggerating when I tell you he looked just like Joe Dirt.
I was, of course, appalled by the look, and since no one else could see him at this point, he thought it would be funny to annoy me by keeping it for a while. My husband’s humor is one of my favorite things about him, but there is nothing quite as off-putting as having Joe Dirt sneak up behind you for a kiss while you’re making breakfast. He thought this was just hilarious. Except now, the joke was on him because he had completely forgotten how utterly ridiculous he looked and confidently plopped down in front of the camera to introduce himself. The Neurologist's face looked confused. My face felt hot with redness, and I suddenly felt the need to over-explain for him. We all laughed, and her response was," Well, it's Covid. How else are we supposed to entertain ourselves?"
Friends, wouldn't it be great if all awkward interactions happened this way? Furthermore, wouldn't it be even better if we all had the confidence to storm into a room looking like Joe Dirt and not fear any condemnation?
I know that most judgmental situations bring a lot more discomfort than this silly story about my husband. Unfortunately, judgment and condemnation can hurt deeply. Maybe you've been shamed for your past mistakes. Perhaps someone demeaned you for being quirky or strange. Maybe they thought you had ill intentions when you were only trying to be helpful. Perhaps you were wrongly accused of something you had no part in. And maybe you were rightly accused, but the judgment brings on deep feelings of shame that cut you to your core.
From a young age, I believed that if someone did something bad, they must be all bad. There wasn't a lot of room for forgiveness in my heart with a mindset like that.
As my relationship with the Lord grew, I had to acknowledge that many parts of me were still desperately flawed. Over time, I've learned that none of us are all bad or all good. We're all just broken and in need of a Savior. I spent years trying to forgive myself for the wrong and shameful things I had done, and eventually, I began to learn how to be forgiving of others as well. From a friend who thoughtlessly spouts off on a bad day to the actions of someone who deeply wounded my soul- freedom is possible for everyone when judgment is lifted, and we open our eyes to see that we're all in desperate need of mercy and grace. This doesn't mean we pretend people are perfect or that those who hurt us did nothing wrong. It just means we now leave room for grace and hope others do the same for us. I have a feeling if we could see into one another's hearts, ours would turn to jelly in an instant.
God didn't intend for us to live in fear of what others think. He created us to live in wholeness with Him. Sin, unfortunately, brought shame and judgment into the world. Before Adam and Eve tasted the forbidden fruit in the garden, they danced harmoniously about their world, unaware that they were unclothed. There was freedom and joy in all things without worry, fear, or shame of what the other thought. While I'm certainly not encouraging any of us to go naked-dancing through the streets of our neighborhoods today, I want to remind you of what God's intent was from the beginning- for us to have freedom, joy, and wholeness with Him and others.
One day, we'll be completely restored with the Creator of all things good. But, until then, we must take hold of His grace daily while also lending it to others as we remember that "No condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1.
His love is endless, so let's cling tightly to it, and in situations big and small, let's always leave room for grace.