Why Can’t I Tell Her What I Think?
Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with one mind and one voice.
Romans 15:5-6
I recently had someone unfriend me on social media and send a message accusing me of something so off-base and outrageous it kept me up all night baffled and heartbroken. This person is in ministry on staff at a church and is a seasoned believer. The accusations were completely false yet still pierced my heart and soul deeply, hurting me to my core.
In another instance, we hosted a conference last year with over 900 women in attendance. As the Women’s Ministry Director, my mind was going a mile minute throughout the conference trying to make sure everything was going well. At the end of the second session, the speaker caught me off guard, asking me to come up on stage. She then shared with the crowd that I was going to lead the Romans Road to Salvation and then passed me the mic. I choked. I was not prepared at all for her to do this, was taken by surprise, and went completely blank on everything I have ever known. The Lord guided my steps and I said what I could say at the moment but it certainly didn’t sound like the Romans Road to Salvation. It bothered me for days, it kept me up at night and I continuously beat myself up, even thinking I was going to lose my job. I met with our pastor and he encouraged me, reminding me that we all mess up, say things the wrong way, and often blank on things and our good God can still use those moments. He was kind enough to share some examples of his own. In the days following, I received several emails from critics saying I needed to learn my Bible and know how to lead people to Jesus. Others said I shouldn’t even be leading a ministry when I can’t even share the Gospel “right.”
It stung deeply, and if I was not in a healthy space with a solid inner circle of friends fluent in Truth speaking and encouragement, it really could have wrecked me for life.
I have seen scenarios like this play out far too often for myself and others in the Christian community. It has become a big problem, and something I believe is the reason why many are walking away from the faith. It is astounding how often fellow followers of Jesus find it more opportune to offer destructive ridicule, instead of edifying encouragement.
The concept of grace and the command of love has been lost.
In Romans, Paul is speaking to the church about this very thing. Their claim of being strong believers was questionable as their actions proved judgmental and critical. In chapter 15, Paul talks about as strong believers, it is our job, our obligation, to build each other up!
Friend, don’t get swept up in the devil’s work, the venom of evil. Use the example of Jesus that Paul speaks of, to extend grace, and endure with Truth in love.
Critical spirits only fuel the fire of the enemy’s schemes, while a spirit of love fuels the flame of the Kingdom of Christ.
We have lost sight of the end goal here which is to “live in harmony with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with one mind and one voice.”
Gauge Your Heart Before Speaking Your Mind.
Ask yourself:
1) Will what I want to say honor the Lord?
2) Is what I want to say my opinion or is it grounded in Truth?
3) Is it my place to say this?
4) Will what I want to say be hurtful or will it be useful?
5) Is what I am addressing hearsay or gossip?
6) Is there anything in my own life that I need to bring to the Lord and confess?
**Note the difference between accountability and constructive criticism and visceral destructive disparagement. This blog is not about addressing sin in someone’s life, this is about the exhaustive hateful attacks on fellow believers because they don’t do something how one thinks they should. The enemy’s playground is alive and well.**
